Yahoo Answers is shutting down on May 4th, 2021 (Eastern Time) and beginning April 20th, 2021 (Eastern Time) the Yahoo Answers website will be in read-only mode. There will be no changes to other Yahoo properties or services, or your Yahoo account. You can find more information about the Yahoo Answers shutdown and how to download your data on this help page.

Can't help but feel second best to my boyfriend's parents. help?

I understand guys need a lot of family time and guy time, that's perfectly natural and I respect it. And I'm glad my boyfriend has a good relationship with his parents and has good friends... but. ..

I feel I'm second best. it's been 2.5 years that we've been together and I just feel like I'm his second choice.

We agreed that because we're young and don't have much money that instead of buying anniversary presents for each other we would make them... I tried really hard and spent a lot of time on his present, I think he spent all of 5 minutes on mine.

He's now going out and buying his parents an anniversary present... I just think it's a bit weird. I don't get it.

I feel that in his eyes the plans we make with each other aren't as important as the ones he makes with his dad or other family members.

He says I am part of his family, but I don't feel I am. At times I feel like an inconvenience. it's horrible.

What do I do? Any suggestions? Has anyone else had a similar situation or felt this way?

Thank you

1 Answer

Relevance
  • 8 years ago

    It's not weird cause though you've been with him 2.5 years he's been with his close knit family his entire

    life. To those that don't understand close knit families. there is a bond there with all sorts of plots and

    sub plots. Some kids feel like others were the favourites and there is always competition to try to put

    them down a peg. One brother wants to show up his sister or brother by giving the best present and all

    that sort of stuff. This is not just kid stuff it can go on for years after folks are even middle aged, so if

    your guy is into that type of family dynamics, then you are in for a bumpy ride if you want to be first in his

    life, I know I've been there, but learned how to accept it and after a few years he got his priorities back

    to his immediate family cause I didn't push it or sweat it and after time it just all falls into place. When

    you are the man of your household you can't have the time to be the 'son' of another's, including mom

    and dad. Get your nose out of joint and don't make this a big issue at this time, cause you could lose!

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.