How do you keep moving on, when you dont feel alive at all?

I recently loss someone. Im not really asking for anyone to take my side. Its my fault I lost her. I cant blame myself enough for it. Fact is, I wont even take my own side. Because I just blew it that bad. I wished though she listened to me first, hear my side of the story before she made conclusions. Opened her mind up if not her heart. There is so much truth she does not know, but what does it matter. She wont come back to me. Nothing I can do will bring her back to me.

So this is all I really have. Talking. Helps ease the pain a bit. Hoping someone would listen. Because I dont think even god is listening to me. Like he is too busy. This is all I have now. And that bottle of whiskey I take every night till I am wasted. Just so for a while, I can ease the pain and sleep. But I have to wake up, sober, and aware. Its the worst part. I dont know how much more of this I can take till it takes a toll. But hey, when and if it does, it will be over right.

You understand where I am coming from, when you find that one person who completes you. Who gives you this purpose of making sure she is happy everyday. And now its gone, I cant bring it back. all I have is this

I am so dead inside. Like I dont have a soul anymore. Im just existing, waking up, breathing, but not living.