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I cant forgive myself, please help?
I lost her. Its my fault. And I got nothing left now. Except this guilt and pain that I caused us. Talking about it to anyone who would remotely listen helps. Its alright, I dont ask anyone to take my side. I cant forgive myself either.
The funny thing is, I hate the pain, yet I love it. Because the more it hurts, the more I realize how much I love her. Now that there is this huge space between me and her, Its the only way I can ever be close to her. This sorrow that keeps growing, that wont let me eat sleep or even stop me for a while from being this pathetic. This is all I have to be close to her as much as I can. Because after all thats said and done. I feel like its better to be miserable like this. Than to move on for my own good. At least that way, I get to prove to her or myself. That I didnt lie about anything. That I would never love like this again.
@ATT
There are somethings in life you can never move on from. You may learn to just deal with them, but you never move on. Its like when you lose any part of your body. You can try to find the best substitute you can, but you are just gonna live the rest of your life handicapped. Im sorry if that does not sound pleasing. At least thats the way I see it.
@Angela
Yeah that would be nice. I hope she would at least listen to my side of the story first before making all those conclusions she did. And by the time I got to, she was just too hurt to open up her mind. I dont blame her. Im the one who lied to her and it doesnt change that. Nothing of those last 3 years or what I say can get her to believe me. She is too hurt. I shouldnt have done that, and at the end of the day, I got no one else to blame but myself.
@ saby
No I dont want her to see this. She has an idea, but I dont want her to experience my misery or even feel guilty for me. I love her too much to make her go through all that.
5 Answers
- 8 years agoFavorite Answer
Damm you sound like a loving boyfriend that really does cares for a girl. If only there was more guys like you except for whatever you did that's 'bad' try your best to try to explain your side and beg her to give you another chance, I mean... If she denies you she's giving up on a guy that is rare in this world now a days . Let her go and if one day she decides she can't live without you then it's really meant to be. But first try your best to try and get her back.... Well I can't say not to feel bad because I don't know what you did exactly wrong but if it was for a little reason then just let go of it the first thing to recovery is to admit to yourself that you did do something wrong but just keep going on and promise to yourself that you won't do it again.:)
- 8 years ago
You need to pull yourself together! Its perfectly fine to be in love with someone, even if the feeling is not mutual. The only reason your feeling miserable and upset is because your allowing yourself to feel that way. Its unhealthy! You need to put yourself first and love yourself enough to get your life back on track. I'm sure a relationship will come along when you least expect it. If its meant to be, then it will happen.
Hurting yourself is no way to prove to her that you love her! If you loved her you'll apologize for your actions. If she can't accept that or if you didn't do anything at all to hurt her, then move on and realize that she doesn't deserve you. Know your worth! I'm sure you'll find someone better. You need to love her enough to let her go!
- Anonymous8 years ago
Omg i wish your ex gf would see this!! And that every guy would be like u! Why dont u try to talk to her? Talk about how to improve the relationship? What happened for it to end? If u both still love eachother then u sldnt miss the chance!
- 8 years ago
Why don't you try to work things out with her ? You never know , she might be feeling the same way , end the pain and sorrow. What did you do to her ?
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- 8 years ago
ugh i feel the same way. I hate him half the time for making me feel like this...but i like being miserable I don't know how to be normal at this point..it's like I don't want to move on even though I have the option to.
