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Why do people tend to believe assumptions of others and not trust their closest friend?

I have a close guy friend. He is still dealing with issues from his divorce a few years ago. While we are intimate he still sees us as just friends. I accept that that is where he is at and respect his feelings on the matter. (I also realize that if/when he finds someone who rocks his world and it isn't me - our friendship is most likely over but I don't think he sees that). It is no one's business what our relationship is and I always call him my friend and not boyfriend. A few times over the last 3+ years he has said things like "they think we are girlfriend and boyfriend" - when I have said nothing and it is most likely their assumption as they see us interact with each other. And then he asks me what "I" said to them to make them think it...and what it tells me is that he doesn't trust me. Why does he believe them and confront me?

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  • 8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    It really depends on his tone and facial expression. Was he serious about it as if he really thought you were at fault? Or was it just a simple question that maybe even you jump to conclusions about?

    But to answer your question, it's just human nature to make hasty assumptions. We see a problem, our minds immediately begin to work or try to rationalize and then we fall on something that seems comforting or logical.

    He might believe them because he knows he never said anything about it, which leaves you the only person left that could have said something, but he's not thinking about other people's unfair judgment and perception of being an observer far away. Why not talk to him about it?

  • 8 years ago

    I guess because he's in a rough place, he just does stuff. I mean, he isn't the only one. Many people do that... But I guess all we gotta do is let them see us for who we are and somehow let them trust us. I don't know how long it takes - it really depends on the person. I don't think you should take the fact that he confronts you as such a big deal - you should be more worried about where you stand in his life.

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