When I go to the toilet, I am afraid of snakes.?

My brother tells me there are many snakes that let loose in the sewers. What if a rattler comes up and bites me in the bits and pieces? I couldnt suck the poison out myself, and my wife wont even go near my privates, because she got a bad cold sore when she was trying to pleasure me a few years back, I had herpes from the neighbor girl (I told the wife the herpes was from sitting down on a toilet at the county fair)