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Please read my poem and c/c it? how do you like it. need opinions.?
Its like a river is flowing out of me,
a river of tears,
Today i m down in the ground,
six feet under.
I need a cup of life, flavoured with smile,
cup without bottom,
Need to slide down from the cliff of despair,
to climb one more time.
I am thirsty and still riding towards a desert,
desert without U turn,
There is a mirror following me into this abyss,
abyss full of mirrors.
There is no way out of the dimension i am in,
a dimension, dimensionless,
Lost in, half full of void, half nill of fill ,
smoking on an underground hill.
Give me a pill of dreams wrapped around a gun,
a pill to swallow,
I wish for a wish that i could wish,
a wish lost long ago.
Sometimes when i look out, i wish it start to rain,
rain drops black and dry,
Why do i even try?,
try to breath, try to survive.
2 Answers
- 8 years ago
good, very good, keep editing
live with this poem.
here are some line that were excelent-
'abyss full of mirrors.'
'half nill of fill ,'
'rain drops black and dry,'
Source(s): http://aluminiumwings.tumblr.com/