Do you think this guy called me on purpose to hear his conversation?

Question

I'm dating this guy, and he hasn't had contact with me for awhile. He's mad at me for some reasons, but very minor, and he won't talk to me.  But last night I got a phone call from him in a bar setting, and it was almost like he dialed my number accidentally, and I could hear his conversation. He was talking a lot about our issues, and me. Like the exact reasons he's avoiding me right now, was what he was discussing. But it was like a one way conversation, and I didn't hear another person talking. Then he went on to talk about me, and it was all good! But what are the chances he accidentally happens to dial my number is almost impossible. I'm not on his call list, so it's not like he could have hit a button, and if I was on his contact he would have had to go all the way down to L for my name. And his phone wasn't muffled, so it certainly wasn't in a pocked. He mentioned to me once, he has a hard time expressing himself. I wonder if it was intentional, and that's what he was doing? I wonder if he wanted to hear me on purpose? Possible it was a set-up?

mt75689 · Accepted Answer

It sounds like he did that intentionally to me. Of course you could never prove that it really was intentional. All you have is a gut feeling about this. Keep that gut feeling to yourself, and use it to make you pay closer attention to him. Don't be surprised to learn that he is dishonest and manipulative ~ two very good reasons to not be involved with him.

Conduct an experiment. Don't tell him that you recieved this call. I suspect that if you don't bring it up, he will. He will ask you if you happened to get an unintentional phone call from him. Tell him no, and then watch how he handles that. I have a feeling that he wants this "accidental" phone call to be a reference point for further conversation. Don't allow him to play this game.

Anonymous · Answer

Men tend not to go to those lengths - their minds aren't like women's.   Women are capable of quite devious cunning - an evolutionary trait as we don't have the muscles to get our way with brute force.

Men tend to be simpler creatures and what you see is what you get.  For instance, if they say they're 'not looking for a permanent relationship' they mean 'with you - but am up for no strings sex and convenience'.  They may marry the next girl they see, because she makes them feel differently.  But they make up their minds very quickly,  (often within the first half hour)  and aren't not likely to change them.

That's not to say he didn't 'accidentally' mis-dial your number, but I would take a dim view of him discussing you and 'our issues' with anyone, frankly.  Especially if the understanding ear was another woman.  But generally men don't discuss 'issues' with anyone.  They only will if forced to and if they genuinely think there is likely to be a solution offered, whereas women discuss problems without expecting a ready solution.  The book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus explains it well enough.

Don't let this go around in your head.  If he is the 'mind-game playing sort' you can do without him.  If he cares, he'll come looking for you.  But if you have 'issues' at this stage, then future stages of life when mortgages, kids and careers, in-laws and everything else doesn't bode well.

Find someone who fits into your life like the missing piece to a jigsaw puzzle and you'll have less drama and more happiness.

Anonymous · Answer

Yeah. I think your friend wanted you to hear that. Maybe he couldn't face you because of guilt. You should ask him about this. I don't know if you like this guy right now, and I certainly don't know if he deserves another chance, but I think he's asking for one. Go with your heart!

Ciara · Answer

He could've been to drunk to realise what he was doing

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Do you think this guy called me on purpose to hear his conversation?

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