Where is a decent place to live in the east bay: close to a bart station and close to 580 E, read more details?

My long term boyfriend and I currently live in San Francisco. I may be accepting a high paying job in Stockton, CA. We are looking to move somewhere in the east bay. I dont know the east bay cities very well. Could you suggest some places that I should look into that will be close to a BART station, so my bf could take bart into SF. At the same time, it must be close to hwy 580 E, and I would like my commute to be no more than about 60 miles at most to get to Stockton.

other info; we do not have any kids, and price of rent is not a concern as our combined income would be somewhere around $10,000 per month. also do not like too much of a "small town" feel or "farm country" feel. a place with a decent downtown area (my bf is very sad about leaving the big city feel of SF!) we dont need night clubs or anything, but we do like good restaurants, parks/nature, and dont want to have to go far to find a grocery store or walgreens. we will only have 1 car, at least until i can save enough from my new job to buy a second car.

i think berkely and oakland are still too far of a commute to stockton... and my bf feels livermore/dublin/pleasanton is too long of a commute for him to sf. i really dont know anything about places such as walnut creek, san leandro, hayward, alameda, etc.

THANK YOU FOR ALL ANSWERS AND ADVICE!!!