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?
Lv 7
? asked in Entertainment & MusicMusicLyrics · 7 years ago

Do you like this Ghazal, please comment ? ( For Hindi knowing persons only)?

CHAHAT

MUJHE GAM MEIN MILAWAT AAYE NAZAR,

KHUSHIAN KA CHEHRA DIKHAEE DE,

BADNAAM KIYA HAI MEINE USE,

WOH FIR BHI MERI DUHAAEE DE.

MEINE MATAM KE SUR MANGE SADA,

KAYUN MUJHKO SUNAAEE SHAHNAEE DE,

MEINE TUMSE SADA NAFRAT CHAHEE,

TERI AANKHON MEIN PYAAR DIKHAAEE DE,

MUJHE CHANDNI RATEN KAYUN MILTI HEIN,

KOEE MUJHKO RAAT KI SYAAHEE DE,

HASRART THI MERI, MUJHE MAUT AAYEE.

KAYUN JEEVAN MUJHE TARUNAEE DE,

MEINE KHUD KO KAIDE- WA- MUSHKAT DI,

WOH MUJHKO FIR KAYUN RIHAAEE DE,

KAISE DEKHUN MEIN CHEHRA "NIRASH" APNA

DARPAN MEIN USKA, DIKHAAYEE DE.

"Nirash"

Update:

@ Priya - I value your inspiration and thnk you. You have good knowledge of poetry. Thats why you have suggested KHUSHIYON in place of KHUSHIAN. BAHUT ACHHA LAGA. MERE PASS YEH SHAWD (WORD) "KHUSHIYON' HI HAI PER ROMAN MEIN TYPE KARNE KE KARAN ISE KHUSHIYAN TYPE KIYA GAYA. SO NICE OF YOU. THANKS.

Update 2:

@@ Priya-- I shall be thankful to you if you do pointout my mistakes and guide me in poetry, Ghazal,with regard to words, rhyme. rhythm. Matra, Bazan etc. Thanks a lot.

Thanks.

Update 3:

@@@ Pavitra - admiror of poetry like you have made my poetry a great worth. I am thank ful to you. and hope in future too you will read and give your suggessions.

Thanks.

3 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    7 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Ghazab ki hai yeh ghazal.

    MUJHE GAM MEIN MILAWAT AAYE NAZAR, KHUSHIAN KA CHEHRA DIKHAEE DE,

    Beautiful lines.Sirf ek clarification.Doosre line mein "khushian" ke badle "khushiyon" fit hoti hai na sir.Aur nhi toh pls maafi chaahungi:)))

    Aur doosra mera pasandida part:

    HASRART THI MERI, MUJHE MAUT AAYEE.

    KAYUN JEEVAN MUJHE TARUNAEE DE,

    MEINE KHUD KO KAIDE- WA- MUSHKAT DI, WOH MUJHKO FIR KAYUN RIHAAEE DE,

    KAISE DEKHUN MEIN CHEHRA "NIRASH" APNA DARPAN MEIN USKA, DIKHAAYEE DE.

    Nirashji aapka har work perfect hai.Salah ya nasihat ki koi zaroorat nahi aapko.Wish you all success:)))

    Edit:Thank you so much so sir for taking my views in consideration.Really,aapka har work masterpiece hai which doesn't needs to be reviewed.Aur bahot bahot dhanyavaad aapne meri salah lene ki baat ki.Par jaise maine kaha aapka har work perfect hai aur salah ki koi bhi zaroorat nahi.Thanks a lot:)))

  • 7 years ago

    NA HO NIRASH "NIRASH" TUM DUNIA KE ANDHERE SE

    TERI GAZAL MAIN HI TUJHE KAMYABI KI ROSHNI DIKHAAYEE DE

  • ?
    Lv 6
    7 years ago

    excellent.........:')

    all ur ghazals are so gud that i don't hv enough words to appreciate u....................:)

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