If your mother was cold while she was visiting your house what would you do?

You cannot always presume that people can afford hundreds upon hundreds of dollars per month for oil/propane. None of us really know the financial condition of others, because most people hide their debt, so you cannot presume to know anyone's financial health.

Nonetheless, the house was cold and you felt disrespected. And, I don't blame you for that. I would have addressed the situation in a practical manner and demanded a sweater or put on my coat....or I would have left then and there.

If I had no money for oil and had to conserve it, I would have fired up the fireplace and had my guests sit there to remain cozy warm. Turning of the furnace do to it's location in proximity of the fireplace would be irrelevant if it was set at 65 degrees. In any event, your daughter and granddaughter were being very rude by not keeping their guests comfortable rather than make fun of them.

There seems to be a degree of hate your daughter has for you as she mocked you. If my daughter made fun of my mother being uncomfortable, my daughter's lip gloss would be on the wall after I slapped it off of her.

Your question implies that the whole family was there, too. In a case like, that, all things being equal, I would expect EVERYBODY to compromise on the temperature setting. I would raise the thermostat to a temperature that everybody could live with. and get my mother a warm sweater. If the fire was making the central heat inoperable, then I'd douse the fire in order to make the heater work. In a modern house with central heat and air, a fireplace is for ambiance, not for heating the entire house.

I'd wouldn't need to discipline my nine year old, because I wouldn't have a kid that horrid.

What I would NOT do is turn the heat up to 80 degrees and expect everybody else to suffer so that one person could have things the way she's used to.

I don't think it's a question of what the temperature was - the point is that you were very cold. You ask what we would have done in your daughter's place. I would have made absolutely sure my mother was comfortable, by turning up the heat (or using a space heater in the room) or by giving her something extra to wear, and maybe a rug for her knees. I could not possibly have mocked her for feeling cold, and my 9-year-old daughter would never have tried such a thing again. I'm sorry you had that experience. The odd thing is that I thought we were all getting softer — my parents always complained that their own parents' houses were freezing, and I used to think own parents' house was kept pretty chilly — but in your case it's the other way.

I know what you mean. I turn up my thermostat when my Mom comes or any other guest for that matter. I want people to be comfortable and cozy.

I wouldn't visit for a while if my daughter and granddaughter made fun of me. That just isn't right. If you were layered and dressed for winter and were still cold, I think your daughter should have made every effort to make you comfortable. I would have turned up the heat and covered you with a warm throw.

When people entertain they must make their guests their priority. If they can't, they shouldn't invite people over.

My mom is from Britain. She moved here when my brother and I were born. Being from there, she was used to and was comfortable with very cool temperatures, so we grew up in a house that was about 60 degrees. When I moved out, I lived in Texas for a few years and my core body temperature changed dramatically. Any time it's anywhere near 70 degrees or so or below, I am freezing. But I'd never be presumptuous enough to demand that someone change the way they live in order to accommodate me. I know how cool my mom's house is. I dress in layers and wear jackets and sweaters that I can comfortably wear in the house. You know ahead of time, before even going there and I just think you can do things to prevent yourself from being so uncomfortable without being resentful about it.

ADD: Actually, to answer your question....... I actually do turn the temperature down some (though nowhere near what my mom is used to!!) when I know she's coming over only because I know it's easier for me to layer on clothes and stay warm than it is for someone who is sweating to death to cool off. There is nothing you can do if you're too warm except suffer. At least you and I have the option of dressing warmly to be more comfortable, so that may also be something to think about. You could also bring a couple of throws or blankets to keep yourself warm when you're all sitting around. I keep a ton in every room in my house since I know I'll always need them!

That family is accustomed to cooler temperatures. It's not unusual. I have read that in British homes, 60° to 65° F. is quite normal. Everybody wears sweaters and jackets around the house. Many hotels have separate areas for Brits and for visitors, so everybody can be comfortable.

As people get older, they often need more warmth, especially if they're not particularly active. My ninety-year-old father-in-law kept his apartment at 80° during the winter. It wasn't at all comfortable for anyone else.

If you had insisted on having the thermostat turned up to 72° or so, as is customary in most homes, your daughter and her family would have felt like they were broiling. So your best alternative would have been to pile on extra layers, borrow mittens, socks, and warm slippers, and maybe even wrap up in a quilt while you were sitting down.

01. Keeping the heat that low for guests is abusive. Your daughter sets a poor example for your grandchild.

02. Possibly your daughter's financial situation is less than desirable now, but then she should have warned you to layer up.

03. At any one's home, if the host/hostess has created a very uncomfortable environment for their guests, you have every right to leave. Just be polite about it.

04. No one has to be held captive because of a holiday, nor forced to suffer an abusive situation.

Good Luck & Better Warm Holidays!

I think most answers are split on this one

I agree with your family although I wouldn't have laughed. You're a guest to THEIR house. Why should they change everything to suit you. My mothers house is kept at 68 which is cold to me, I would never THINK of complaining , especially because as it costs MONEY. That's rude! I usually wear a long sleeved shirt with a fleece when visiting. Keep my opinions to myself

No you weren't wrong and I don't even know how they could've stayed there with that temperature. I get cold when it's 72° and I'm only 15, you're not even the "cold" type, they were just showing off.

I would turn up the heat and also offer her a sweater.

That's not only rude of your daughter, it borders on sadistic and disrespectful. I sure wouldn't visit there again.

You were not wrong. Shame on her and her daughter.