how do I control the "intent" in my attacks? I know it's important but how do I hold back?

It is not your ADHD. I have ADHD. It is a decision you make. What is surprising to me is that you are supposed to have trained for a number of years. Then out of the blue you post this. I would have expected that you would be in control of your own actions. Doctors told me that my martial arts training is likely why I never have been in trouble with the law. They said the discipline the training offers is good for those that have ADHD. Over the years I have known many martial artists that also have ADHD. Many students of mine have had it. None of them has had a problem controlling their actions. You may have a problem that needs attention, but As I said I think it safe to say it can't be blamed on ADHD.

Edit: the meds I take for my ADHD changed my life. I function a lot better. Thought i could do without them a few years ago. What a big mistake that was. If you are off meds, I'd seriously consider going back to them. I understand about injuries and training. I had a serious car crash in 1972 that sidelined me for 6 months. It took another 6 months to get back to training as I had. In 1998 I lost my hearing on the right side. The tumor that caused my hearing loss sidelined me for months. In 2010 I had Cancer and had surgery to remove the cancer. Again it set my training back. but I overcame all of it. You can overcome what ever it is that is effecting you in a negative way.

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I'm no psychologist. But I'll offer some reasons which might contribute to someone whose sparring techniques are degrading in the manner you describe.

1. you are getting mad at being hit - because you feel your skill level is higher than your partner, who should not be hitting you

2. you are getting mad at being hit - because you didn't see the strike coming, and you used to.

3. you are getting mad at being hit - because you are afraid that the instructor (or others) will see a weakness in you

4. you are getting mad at being partnered with someone well below your skill level

5. you are getting mad at being partnered with someone well above your skill level

6. you are getting mad at being partnered with someone you can't stand

7. You can't stand the methods of your partner's offense or defense techniques

8. You could be burning out of martial arts - or of the style, or of the school

9. You could be fatigued and can't control your strikes; try getting more sleep or changing your diet

10. You are impatient - a direct ADHD connection. Try meds, different meds, or using coping skills

11. Maybe you are preoccupied with baggage you should be leaving outside: marital problems, college problems, work problems, family problems, injury or sickness in the family, the holiday doldrums... these are all valid things to have concerns over, but, if you let them preoccupy your mindset in the gym, then, you are doing no one favors by focusing on these things. Worse, you are neither solving these problems, nor are you technically improving. Stop brooding, or stop training for awhile. Take a vacation, take up meditation, listen to classical music, burn incense, spend more time in church, get a dog... anything to help take your mind off whatever problems you have or to help take the edge off these problems.

EDIT: if you used to take meds, and now you don't, and you are back to where you are before you started taking them, perhaps you might want to consider re-taking them again? A doc will also be able to offer a professional and educated opinion on your MA issue here.

I agree with the other guy, you can't look at sparring as fighting. Sparring is use to practice your newly learned skills on a live target. like when you have football practice you're not out to kill your own team, its just practice. Look at it as play fighting with your little brother, surely you're not going to superman punch him with a 10 yard start.. Look at sparring as getting your skills to flow smoothly and with correct form. Breath correctly, use moderate speed and power. The part of martial arts you're forgetting is the self discipline. You have to be able to control not getting mad you got hit, if you can't control your emotions because you got hit, play a sport that doesn't require you getting hit. Or just accept the fact in contact sports, you're going to get touched.

Sparring isn't fighting. So you have to look at it differently.

Instead of looking at it as a fight, look at it as a way to work on your skills. Can you work on hitting the other person without being hit? Better yet can you do it with control so you just graze them?

Or can you work on just one or two techniques?

The thing is that most people look at sparring either as fighting or as getting points. To really get good, you need to use it differently, so use that to help you with your intent!

You need to take up meditation to cope with anger and the accompanying intent to hurt ( if that's the 'intent' you are referring ). Since there are many meditation techniques, I'll suggest that you begin with Breathing Meditation, and progress to Insight Meditation (which is developing Awareness of one's emotion and thinking process). Both these methods are taught in Theravaden Buddhist Temples or Associations. This is one sure way of getting hold of yourself.

You don't control the intent. You control the intensity of your strikes. That is part of your training. You should be able to have a focus strike that comes close with no contact and a good focus strike that you can make contact but you don't have to hit with full force. You control how much power is received to the other person.

After all these years, you're asking this, man? Come on.

As Pugpaws said, it's a decision.