why is it when I drink lager and wine it tastes horrible?

What lager brand are you drinking? Some lagers do taste like crap.

You should try the following styles of lager..

Maibock

Dopplebock

Munich Helles Lager

Steam Beer

Munich Dunkel Lager

Again, these are styles not name brands. Find a place that sells craft beer and you'll find these styles there. Each one has it's own unique taste, aroma, and color.

Or you should switch over to Ales...

Ales are typically better than Lagers but there are some good lagers out there that I do enjoy.

Try these ale styles...

Sweet Stout (also referred to as Milk Stout)

Brown Ale

Amber Ale

Pale Ale

Russian Imperial Stout

Hefeweizen

WeizenBock

Porter

Again, find a place that sells craft beer and you will find something you really enjoy.

Give up smoking and drinking lager. Stick to Real Ale and you'll be fine.

Try not drinking for a few weeks. Maybe cut out junk food and eat a lot of vegetables. It seems like you need to reset your system.

I get the same deal from real ale. For us both it can be the terrible product or our horrible ability to savour a quality product. You choose.