trying to establish my life without him, advice?

Question

ok so i feel like ive been so wrapped up in my relationship (dating 8 years, still no wedding date or ring) that ive neglected myself.

i have put my plans of going back to school on hold for 2 years thinking that he would have me move in with him (He lives in florida, i live in illinois).

I have waited and waited for this man, given him 1000 opportunities to propose or discuss getting married, but he is still not ready. He told me the year 2020 is when he will be ready (what a joke) and then said really at the earliest 4 years from now.

Well its just hit me like a sack of bricks, ive built my whole life around him (fleetwood mac song anybody?) And im STUCK

i want to get out of this. I need some ideas. i dont necessarily plan to leave him, but i have become a long term GF and lost myself in the process

girls can you relate and what do you think would be some ideas to fix this

Antaeus · Answer

Building your life entirely around another person - even if they're a spouse! - is a terrible, terrible idea, and this guy isn't even your spouse.  But there's no use in moping about in the past.  It's time to look forward to the future and what it holds for you.

Your first step should be to continue your education.  Find a school that's close enough and get to work.  Get that master's degree or trade certification or whatever it is that you're after.  Once you have it, you'll be much better off for upward mobility in your career.

As far as love goes, if you want to get married, you're going to have to find someone else.  This guy is NOT the type to get married.   Use the lessons that you learned this time around to help you in the future.  Hopefully, you learned that waiting around for something to happen is a terrible idea.  If you want to marry the person you're dating, then discuss it openly with them - do NOT just hint at it and wait for them to bring it up.  Likewise, when it seems like you're both on the same page, do NOT just wait for a proposal.  Get a ring you think the guy would love and start planning yours.  We didn't have a century of female empowerment for nothing.

Anonymous · Answer

I don't think he ever really want to settle down, or not really thinking about it. 2020 or at least another 4 years, which is 2018, what's the difference? I think he is just not into marriage at all. You need to make up your mind. Are you really going to wait for another 6 years, or even more? That is on top of 8 years of dating? Can't you see that he is simply not into it??????

You need to move on and start dating other eligible males.

As with him, just continue as a mere friend, nothing else.

You need to move on and start dating other eligible males.
As with him, just continue as a mere friend, nothing else.

Chantalle · Answer

B***ch thats your problem, you build your whole life around him. Nobody likes a weird desperate person like that. He will never marry you because he dont respect you. Dont ever neglect yourself for a man. Put yourself first. Stop being a p*ussy

orangecartoon · Answer

stat dating others...you dont have to leave him...make him suspicious of your behavior...

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trying to establish my life without him, advice?

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