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Why is my daughter so bad around me?
I have a 3-year old daughter, and she is so bad sometimes. I'm not talking about your typical not listening, either. She screams and kicks and throws major temper tantrums; it's horrible. And the thing is, she only seems to be that way around me. My husband says she doesn't act like that around him, and when I leave her in the nursery at church, they always tell me how good she was until I walked in. My husband seems to think that it's her way of getting my attention since I am always so busy with work and school (I work full time and I'm in nursing school). I try to be patient and understanding with her, but it's really frustraiting when she is throwing her fits. I'm on a break from school until September, so I'll have a lot more time to spend with her, but I don't know how to get her to behave. Are there any good games or anything that I can do with her? She's on this, "I want to do it by myself" phase, so I have to do things that allow her independence.
3 Answers
- aaronmslLv 77 years agoFavorite Answer
You are approaching this all wrong, frankly.
You have control over only person, ever: you. You cannot make your child behave a certain way, because you don't control them. The main problem with a 3 year old is that they usually have poor self control. You shouldn't have this problem.
You can choose what to react to and how you react. If you create a calm, playful environment where your child feels she is getting the attention from you she needs, then this will translate to happier times for you both. In contrast, if you treat every encounter as a mission to make her act the way you think she should act... Well, you can see now how that works out.
This doesn't mean she gets whatever she wants. It means you set clear boundaries and you keep them, consequences are enforced (but reasonable), and you look to manage your own behavior first, trusting that she will learn from you. It also means you show her respect and you allow her to make choices. Importantly, it means being consistent - if you say something is hers and then try to control it yourself, then it wasn't really hers to start with. Why lie to her?
- Anonymous7 years ago
This child probably only acts this way around your husband because your husband probably pays a lot of attention to her and gives her whatever she wants. If your kid whines and cries and kicks you for attention, I say let her. But you must not show her you are the least bit annoyed at it. She'll eventually see it won't do any good and won't get her the attention she wants. I babysit sometimes and when my little 5 year old cousin screams and cries for attention, I let him. And after 20 minutes, he stopped.
Source(s): me
