Yahoo Answers is shutting down on May 4th, 2021 (Eastern Time) and beginning April 20th, 2021 (Eastern Time) the Yahoo Answers website will be in read-only mode. There will be no changes to other Yahoo properties or services, or your Yahoo account. You can find more information about the Yahoo Answers shutdown and how to download your data on this help page.
Trending News
Revising a Japanese poem?
Any Japanese speakers want to help go over this poem?
Please offer any suggestions to fix grammar/make it sound more natural.
星を目指す、月を目指す
けど、それらの日を切望
その時を思い出す、いつか空を見上げる、
「どうして鳥はのんびり行こう？」
一つの魂、自由の魂
青い広がりで舞い上げろう
考えるし、探しているのに
もはや空を見えないよ
We aim for the stars, aim for the moon
But I long for the days from before
I remember the times, when I would look up at the sky
Thinking "Why do birds blissfully soar?"
Just one soul, one liberated soul
Through this blue expanse galore
Concentrating, searching
For I can see that sky no more
2 Answers
- ?Lv 67 years agoFavorite Answer
How about...
We aim for the stars, aim for the moon
僕らは(皆)、星を(目指す)、月を目指す。
But I long for the days from before
でも僕は、昔の(or遠いor 過ぎた)日々を懐かしむ(んだ)。
I remember the times, when I would look up at the sky
Thinking "Why do birds blissfully soar?"
「どうして鳥はあんなに楽しそうに飛ぶんだろ」って
空を見て思っていた頃を思い出す(んだ)。
Just one soul, one liberated soul
たった一つの魂、たった一つの自由な魂が、
(or 魂が１つだけ、自由なたった一つの魂が、)
Through this blue expanse galore
Concentrating, searching
この青い、果てしない広がり(or天空)の中を
考えて、探して。
For I can see that sky no more
もう、あの空は見えないから。
Source(s): I'm Japanese - 7 years ago
I think you did a pretty excellent job.
青い広がりに舞い上がろう 上げろう is wrong.
どうして 鳥たちは のんびり いくのか
もはや 空は 見えないよ "を" isn't the right choice as a particle here.
