How are you supposed to forgive someone who has never acknowledged the hurtful things they did?

I know exactly what you are talking about. I have had the same problem with a relative of mine. I forgave her a long time ago. I hold no grudge against her, but I keep my distance. Once bitten, twice shy.

As mere imperfect humans, sometimes we sin against God and we didn't even know it. The same could be true with our associates so it's vital that we remember Jesus’ words in the Sermon on the Mount: “If you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you; whereas if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” (Matthew 6:14, 15) Yes, God’s forgiveness of our sins is conditional, in part, on our readiness to forgive others.

The apostle Paul reminded Christians in Colossae of this principle. He urged them: “Continue putting up with one another and forgiving one another freely if anyone has a cause for complaint against another. Even as Jehovah freely forgave you, so do you also.” (Colossians 3:13) True, this is not always easy to do. For example, when you are on the receiving end of thoughtless or unkind words, it can be hard to let them pass.

Still, the benefits of extending forgiveness are many. Dr. David R. Williams, a sociologist, said regarding his research: “We found a particularly strong relationship between forgiveness of others and mental health among middle-aged and older Americans.” That is in harmony with the words of wise King Solomon, who some 3,000 years ago wrote: “A calm heart is the life of the fleshly organism.” (Proverbs 14:30) Since a forgiving spirit promotes good relations with God and with our neighbor, we have good reason to be disposed to forgive one another freely from the heart.—Matthew 18:35.

I hope that helps!

If U.R. a Christian. Forgiveness is your Duty. W/o it, Your prayers will go unanswered.

God Bless Ya,

Chicago Bob

imasinner

There is more joy in Jesus in one day.

Than there is in the World 365/24/7

I know, I tried them both.

Numbers 6:24-26

I think it's easy to forgive someone who has no bad intentions. If you hurt me and have no idea, you're not a bad person.

If you try to hurt me, I don't forgive. Family is irrelevant. I'm not the village idiot that will keep being hurt my whole life because of family I didn't choose.

When you give forgiveness it really is NOT for the benefit of those who have wronged you, but to free you from the rage, hate, & general negativity of holding on to it.

PS: If you're Christian, then you should think of the lord's prayer....forgive them their trespasses so that your lord can forgive you yours.....

Me, I'm an atheist.....I try to forgive because holding the hurt damages me & my loved ones.

PPS: 2nd edit: It occurred to me my answer may not address your specific problem.

IF you are unable to let go of the issue, you may need to explore the reasons why in counseling or some kind of support group. There have been a few issues that I did not have the tools to process myself & I needed the help of a group therapy setting to gain those tools & move on.

True forgiveness is not based on whether the other person is repentant or not. Forgiveness is more about letting go of your anger toward that person. You don't have to become pals.

Than their not really repentant are they? Does God forgive where there is no repentance--no rarely if at all

How hard is it to say--there is a problem between us? Can we talk some about it? They must know you feel something-right? Than they should approach you and say can we talk-you pick the time and way.

My daughter came to me once. Social network problem. New friend she had and kind of let her be a bit mean on posts nipping to her old friend. Even said something to old friend when she was defending herself from the other's nip. Like she shouldn't cause more trouble on her posts but said nothing to the other who started it. (I have see others do that too-common small problem that can become bigger if one doesn't handle it right)

Than she regretted when her old friend decided to cut ties. I asked her did you talk to her about it. She said "I told her to call me and we can talk" .

When I pointed out maybe you should say you know there is a problem and maybe you think you didn't handle it right, and you would like to work it out. That way you are acknowledging there was a problem, you value her friendship, and giving her the option how to handle it rather by phone or mail. Telling her to phone you sounds like do this my way or you won't be bothered.

My daughter didn't want to understand hurt feelings might need some soothing and special handling before you can move forward to talking more personal. Maybe some emails first. Say you know some of how it started and talk of your part, when you noticed it, rather than ask her what is troubling her like you have no idea. That looks like insensitive.

It took awhile for her to accept that --it wasn't how she wanted to handle it. She's glad now she finally made the right move to reconciliation.

What I'm trying to say they know there is some problem. And they are refusing as you say to acknowledge there is one and/or their part in it.

You can forgive them if you want and carry on as if nothing is that important and leave it be-but that doesn't always heal relationships damaged well, it's just a loose bandaid on an open sore. But should you choose not to in that way, your not wrong that you deserve some accountability from them neither. Even God asks for that.

So I would say don't beat yourself up for holding back some. Forgive them as you do all humankind, as someone said Forgiveness is more about letting go of your anger toward that person. You don't have to become friends. Don't be bitter toward them holding on to unforgiveness, but you don't have to act like it's nothing neither. Obviously it was something

I can forgive many in-prisons for serious crimes against people as human beings and not carry my ill feelings around toward them to where I am mean to them, and still want accountability to be made by them for what they have done.

I see no need to forgive them. You can come to peace with it by deciding whether you want to cut off contact with the person or just cut off emotionally. Make your decision, tell them of it and then carry on with your life.

Have you told them how you feel? It is possible you have mistaken some instance or misjudged their intentions. Remember that the Bible tells us to go to the person and try to find the reason for the problem between the two of you.

You shouldn't feel an obligation to forgive people if you don't think it's warranted. Sometimes anger is the appropriate response, and forcing yourself to be a doormat is not what's good for you.

Forgiveness is for YOUR peace, not the other person's.

When you forgive someone, you're giving yourself the gift of peace.