Confused about my sexuality? Fear of becoming straight?

Question

I am a 21 year old gay male. Recently, I have been having some really confusing thoughts and I am not sure where to go with them. 
I have been openly gay since I was 14 and I have always had thoughts about guys as long as I could remember. I have always been comfortable and happy with my sexuality and never really had any problems about it. 
I was in a long term relationship with someone and it ended pretty badly in October 2013 when he left me for someone else. I started talking to another guy but it ended on a pretty negative note and I have been single since. I have pretty turned off by guys- emotionally and sexually.. I find guys attractive but I  just don't get turned on by them or really have any desire to be with one. 
I thought for a while I was attracted to women but my feelings really aren't any different for them either.Maybe I am just tired of getting played with and something has just turned off in me? I am insecure and I have problems feeling attractive enough. I try to convince myself that I am just going through a time where I just need to focus on me and not give any thought to having a relationship of being with anyone, but that fear of me no longer being gay overwhelms me. Any personal experience or advice to deal with this?

? · Accepted Answer

What is sounds like to me is your break up and anything that lead up to it, has affected your sexuality.  I don't think you have turned straight really, nothing you said sounds like you are into girls.  It just sounds like bad emotional experiences have put a kind of block over your sex drive and such.  

I had a really bad falling out with several friends at once, and it really affected me emotionally and my sex drive as well.  So I don't think you are actually going straight, though you could be.  I think you have just got a lot of emotions that are sort of scrambling your sexual signals if you will.   Kind of canceling them out.   You just need to allow yourself some time to get back out of this so you can feel better.  Your sexuality should then get better.

Michael · Answer

When I find a relationship I become much more sexual.  If it ends, I sometimes go through a period with nothing interesting me sexually.

You may also feel like giving up on relationships with men.  This happens when a pattern seems to repeat.

A therapist will help you reconnect with your sexuality and help you to avoid repeating mistakes.

Castaway · Answer

It sounds like you're more worried about being alone than turning straight. Just give yourself some time to move up and relax.

Anonymous · Answer

If you're not ready for a relationship why do you insist on obsessing about one?

Take your own advice; focus on your other life goals. Who you sleep with or love won't get the mortgage or car insurance paid.

Anonymous · Answer

Sexuality is a personal choice.  Take time out for self to heal but consider seeking professional counselling if you are overwhelmed.  Ask for a referral from your family doctor and don't hesitate to let him/her know what's been going on with you as you've shared here.  Focus on you...your future...your health physically and mentally.  Keep dating on the back burner for awhile...and remain committed to all appointment&#92;s from your doctor&#92;counsellor&#92;s.  Keep in mind that if the first counsellor doesn't work not to hesitate to ask for more than one referral from your doctor.  Keep your doctor informed.  You are wise listening to your instincts.  They are there for a reason.  Only you...know self.  Trust your instincts.  Hope that helps, thanks for asking.

? · Answer

Try both genders

? · Answer

sounds like a blessing, a life free of attachment and disappointment. i would enjoy it while it lasts

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Confused about my sexuality? Fear of becoming straight?

7 Answers