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If you were the one not wanting the divorce......?
How does it make you feel that someone decided that their life was better without YOU in it? How does it make you feel that someone can walk away from 20 + years of history? How does it make you feel that someone gave up somewhat financial security only to struggle in making ends meet? How does it make you feel that for someone who desperately wanted a solid family life, yet divorced and broke a home, not in the slightest thinking how the children would fare? How does it make you feel that the one person you thought you would spend the rest of your life with now does not turn to you for questions, support or calls to just see how your day is going? How does it make you feel that one person you still love has about the same feelings for you as they do a fence post? How does it make you feel that the person that divorced you is now feeling lonely, cries all the time, not enough money to put food on the table, pay the bills or keep the car running, yet still would take that over being married to you? The divorcing person has no guarantee that they will ever find true love again, yet they are willing to risk it, and not work on the marriage, but still would rather cast their lot in the unknown rather stick with what they know. How did you cope?
5 Answers
- 7 years agoFavorite Answer
by writing how you feel in letters like this. takes time to heal from nasty wounds. Will take some time, but don't ruin your whole life by over thinking the other persons decision. move on, get therapy, be happy and healthy and don't look back
- 5 years ago
Conflict or anger itself does not have to cause an irreparable rift between partners. With good communication skills and a shared commitment to a marriage, even these are surmountable. How to save your marriage https://tr.im/e9qhh
However, at that point where one partner is at the brink of abandoning the relationship, how can the remaining partner save their marriage? If you are at the point where your spouse has asked for a divorce, what can you do?
You must realize first that, you do have a choice. Often, when confronted by a crisis, we find ourselves backed into a corner thinking we have no choice in the matter. How can we change the situation when it involves another person's feelings or decisions? While we cannot, must not and in no way manipulate, blackmail or threaten our partner into changing their mind, we can actually control how we react to the situation. If anything, you must realize that you still have control over yourself. You have the opportunity to look inward and take responsibility for your own feelings and actions and even have the chance to take personal inventory of what your partner is trying to tell you. Are there points in your marriage that must be changed? If so, respond appropriately and proactively.
- BAMLv 77 years ago
You hit a lot of the right points. To some of these other people that are answering and pushing blame at you, the person initiating the divorce should try to work through issues. I know that you claim they did for years, but they have piss poor communication skills if their partner never knew. I know you are saying they should have picked up on the 'hints' and 'signs'. I say B.S. Their spouse should have come out and said there was an issue and forced couples therapy.
- Happy-2Lv 77 years ago
The person who did not want the divorce should have paid better attention during the course of the marriage, recognized the other partner's happiness, and worked to fix things well before the divorce stage.
