What is happening in my head?

I find it impossible to make it through the day or do anything whatsoever.

I have absolutely no motivation, drive or desire, i cannot pick myself up.

For the past 3 years things have been very bad, last year 2013 was a horror movie, I lost my business and with that all my money and my familys money.

For 3 years I have suffered with fatique but this is horrific, I am trying to rebuild myself and start a new business but I just find it impossible to lift a finger to do anything.

My head feels like it is 10 times heavier, im fighting to keep my eyes open, sleep or no sleep I am absolutely shattered, my eyes are constantly burning. I have deep black/purple rings around my eyes and now little red spots under them.

I have written out agendas and action plans to try and give me some structure, all day I have managed to send 2 emails!! This is not going to pay the rent!!

I cannot bring myself to do anything, when im on the computer I just look at the screen or if i have a bit of energy, read an online paper.

Every noise I hear sounds like a bomb going off, people on the phone, a door shutting etc.. every normal noise is 100x louder to me!!

I always have a headache and feel as though my head is being crushed, as if someone is squeezing both sides of my head!!

I have not had sex with my partner for months and this is driving me mad!! I find myself easily distracted by porn and i actually hate porn!!

Im a walking bombsite and I have had many people tell me to snap out of it and pull myself together but I cant, I just cant, whatever I try, sleep, a beer, but nothing works.

I have sold every posession I own to pay rent and now have nothing left!! Surely, surely that is the kickstart and motivation anyone would need to get their a55 into gear and get working but its all a blur, I feel so smashed and broken, body mind and soul!!

I am letting my family down as they think I am working hard to get us out of this mess but im lying to them all!! Lazy? yes I am being very lazy but I just find it impossible to do anything.

All i want to do is sleep, but its pointless, I could sleep all day and all night and a few hours later the feelings return and im back slumped in my chair.

A few years back I had blood tests for ME etc.. and all negative. but this feels much different to a few years back.

Any pointers much appreciated.

And yes, im a lazy b&stard who needs to snap out of things and pull myself together for my family. Yes I know this already!! but any help to do that without resorting to name calling would be much appreciated.

Thank you.