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My fiance constantly ditches me for his mom?
We have been together for about 3 years give or take. I have known him for about 8 or 9 though. For example: Today I took him to school (adult education), his brother was supposed to bring him home because there was alot of chores I needed help with (we live on a farm). I am watching my toddler nephew so I couldn't possibly do everything without him. I expected him to be home around noon, that gives him over and hour to be home. Instead its 4 and a half hours later, and he just now answered his phone. I was worried sick that something happened to him. He ditched me to help his mom with her horses. Now, i understand it is important that he help his mom but she has a husband and a son that still lives with her that could help.
This is not the only occasion he has done this. Once he never came home and didn't call for over a week. I found out he was at a house his mom bought, he was helping her fix the roof. There has been many many other occasions, but these are just a few.
Why can't he call? And why is what his mom wants him to do always more important than me or my needs? Will it always be this way?
I have tried to talk to him about it, but he just makes it seem like im mad because i don't like his mom. Thats not true. I just feel like i should come first, atleast sometimes. If im going to be his wife, then i should be one of his prorities if not the top one..
1 Answer
- No MoreLv 77 years agoFavorite Answer
No sweetie, you don't exactly have it right.
If you are going to be his wife, then you should ALWAYS be his top priority.
Like you said, his mom already has a husband, and another son to help out. Yes it's great that he makes himself available to help out his mom, but if he is going to keep you as a sideline only then you need to find a man who has his priorities straight.
But I find it hard to believe that you let him get away without calling you for over a week. That one should have been the deal-breaker right there. It's inexcusable that he would set up housekeeping with you, and then take off for a week without any notice or consideration for you.
You say you tried to talk with him about it, but you may not be sending a strong enough message if you are telling yourself, AND him that you should maybe, kinda, sorta, come first, sometimes.
NO!
If you are going to be his wife, then he needs to show you that as far as he is concerned, YOU come first every time, all of the time, and when you can spare him then he can find some time for his mom.
If he doesn't get that, then maybe he shouldn't be getting you.
