My birthday why don't I care?

Okay so tomorrow is my birthday and I'm just like **** it I don't give a hoot nor holler about it for its just another 365 days that marks it I've been living for oh come on when a tree gets another ring of age line (some call it) we don't throw that tree a party idk my birthday is suppose to be special and I'm just not feeling it idk why at all I mean its to the point I don't want to do anything but go to school do color guard come home go back do color guard come home do my homework go to bed nothing more I mean I just don't see the point then yet again I'm throwing my friend a suprise bday party and its like why the hell would I do that if I don't think me having a bday is right idk I mean I'm still going to I'm not wasting months of planning anyway I just don't understand