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I really need relationship advice?
So I'm 17 and I've been dating the same guy for 4 years. But our relationship got very toxic after the first year. Until now, I felt like I deserved it when he'd cheat on me all the time and call me worthless, a piece if sh!t, a c*nt, etc. he hasn't cheated in 2 months and before that it was a year. Anyways, I started talking to this guy from school (they're kinda friends) and he got mad and stuff. This is the first guy I've texted/had more than 3 conversations with in the 4 years and I think he likes me and I think I like him back b/c he's so sweet. I know I need to break up with my boyfriend soon but I don't know how and if I do that then I won't have a ride home from school cause he drives me so I was thinking of waiting till I get my license. But this other guy has showed me that I don't deserve to be treated like property like my bf makes me feel. I don't know what to do cuz I don't want to hurt my boyfriend at all but I can't deal with the mental abuse. :(
PLEASE READ**
he also controls basically everything i do. i have "rules". I'm not "allowed" to wear earphones around him, even if hes ignoring me and talking to his friends. I'm not allowed to hang up the phone if were in a fight and hes insulting me because he gets mad at comes over to yell at me. he tells me he wants to punch me a lot, but never has. He also makes me do his schoolwork and projects for him or he threatens me with not going to prom cause hes gonna fail. So now i'm failing and hes passing. The other guy and I have been talking for three weeks straight. we only dont text if were sleeping but we do talk basically every second during the day, and he even tells me to do my homework instead of text him cause he wants me to do good. he makes me so happy. i havent been this happy with anything else in my life in months. Also, i'm not trying to use him to get a ride home, it's just i dont know if i should just wait to get my license so if
oh and we also have a class together and hes the only person i know in my lunch because im new to this school so im kinda worried about how awkward it will be. (sorry for adding so many details)
***so if he comes to my house when i break up with him (which i have before) then i can leave my house when he tries to make me stay with him
3 Answers
- Ford_CraneyLv 77 years ago
It is WRONG to date a guy just to get a ride hon.The other guy will see this and think of you as a user and will not wait around for you that long.Take the bus, dump the abusive b/f, which you should have done 3 yrs ago.Then get to know this guy.If you hurt the current b/f then too bad, he had it coming and he will get over you in time.This is what dating is for to see if you are compatible and you aren't with this guy, so move on.This is also why 13 yr olds do not need b/f g/fs.yur main focus needs to be on your education not romance.
- Anonymous7 years ago
If you break up with him and he says it's your fault and you hurt his feelings that is bull crap. If hes been cheating on you that is terrible. You should not have to put up with that. I would break up with him but I see what you mean with the ride thing that might be a problem:) but this other guy seems nice and I know exactly how you feel. I think the best thing to do is end your relationship as hard as it might be. Hope this helps:)
- Pooky™Lv 77 years ago
You got so used to being treated badly, you are confusing abuses from this boy as something positive.
Since you are realize the relationship is toxic, it is better to be alone and happy, v.s. being with him.
Learn to love yourself for who you are. If you depend on someone to make you feel happy, you are allowing this person to make you sad, too.
Getting a ride from school is just an excuse. It isn't good enough.
What ever you do, don't jump into one relationship after this one ends. You need to focus on school. Living at home for the rest of your life and working at a dead end job is not a good future.
Best wishes
