Can I get my boyfriends mom to accept me?

Question

I have been dating this guy for 7 months who I really like and care about. We are in our mid 20's. He lives with his mom. Things were going great and his mom initially likes me when I first met her. We were off to a good start. Things changed. This is going to sound bad and I do regret it. I want to add that I am not a drug addict or drug dealer. I was simply experimenting. We ,tried molly. We text each other about it. Apparently, his mother intercepted our text messages. She became upset as any mother would. I understand that. However, I think she went overboard and got carried away. She told him that he cannot see me anymore and that I am not welcome over the house anymore. She actually made him call me and tell me this. He later messaged me and told me he would keep in touch. I am not a drug addict or dealer. Im not saying what I did was right. All I am saying is that I didn't force his hand or hold a gun to his head and make him do it. He's an adult and can make his own choices. I dont think its fair for her to hold me responsible and I think its way out of line for her to have made him call me and say that. Its an invasion of privacy for her to have gone though his phone. I am a really good person and I can promise on God that I will never touch another drug again after this experience. I understand her point of view. She loves her son and wants whats bet for him. She dont want him on drugs or with someone who will bring him down. Im not on drugs and I wont bring him down. I care very much for him and would only help build him up. I dont think we should have to sneak around to see each other. How much of an influence on him can she really have? What do you suggest I do? I really want to change her opinion of me  but I fear it is too late. I dont know what to do. Any suggestions? I feel awful. However, I dont think I should be held entirely responsible for this when he was just as guilty as me an also a willing participant.

Casey · Accepted Answer

I don't understand why his mother thinks it's alright to intercept, or go through his text messages. I assume, since he is in his twenties, he pays his cell phone bills. If so, she has absolutely no right to do that. What you two discuss and do in private is the business of the two of you alone. If the two of you were teenagers, this would be completely different. You are an adult, he is an adult. Did his mother fail to notice that you weren't the only one "experimenting"? It's not as if you forced her son to try drugs. I also believe that your boyfriend should be sticking up for you with his mother. Like I said, he's an adult, he can have relationships with anyone he pleases. To be honest though, there's nothing really you can do except give it time. I'm sure, she will calm down after a while. Only her son can talk to her about it though. No, you shouldn't have to sneak around with each other. No offense to you, this is not a question an adult should be asking. That mom is unreasonable.

Anonymous · Answer

Try apologizing be honest talk to her when he is not there so she will take you serious. Beg her. BUT DON'T BLAME IT ON HER SON IN ANY WAY she sounds like a mother who is crazy for her son

OR

Get a house or apartment for you two to share ( if that is comfortable for you ) go in and tell his mother that you love him and that is the relationship doesn't work out she has all the right to blame you ( just let her think that ) and get him to go with you ( if he is comfortable with it ) but he needs to agree before you tell his mother and be nice.

------Word of Advice-------- sounds like you trust each other a lot but how about you do some digging just to make sure he hasn't been on drugs before or he has a medical thing and thats why his mother is upset (because drugs can mess with stuff)--------

Nohbdy · Answer

There really isn't anything you can do about that besides apologize. Pretty much anything you do will just be automatically invalidated in her mind because of the opinion she already has. He may be able to get her to, if not like you, at least put up with you. If not, she may just have to accept that her son is an adult and can make his own choices.

lily · Answer

If youre both in the mid 20's he can move out and live in an apartment with you. Or by her a gift something she likes. Or go to a resturant and talk it about explain it.

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Can I get my boyfriends mom to accept me?

4 Answers