going through health diagnosis/scare, need help?

I'm sorry your going through this. My brother and I both have CF and his life seems alot like yours. Hes in constant pain, lots of issues with his back, with his chest, with his overall self to the point that he barely leaves the house. It is a nightmare. I also have little cousins (9yrs old now, and 19) that have CF. I never realized how much my young cousin looks at my life and models herself after my small, yet large to her, achievements. Whenever I accomplish something she tells her mother that one day she'll get to do that too because i am fighting her same battle and I did it. (We are not close at all, i barely know her and have to genuinely not be in the same area as her because I can get sicknesses from her) This little girl has literally been in and out of the hospital all her 9 yrs of life and has never gotten to be "normal". Shes faced more challenges than I have in my 28yrs of living. Yet when its bad for her she looks to me, and genuinely when it gets bad for me i'll look at her and all she's survived and force myself to be stronger. . . my point is, you don't know whos looking at you and your struggle and thinking if they can survive, I can. It seems really bad and hopeless and I never even pretend to know my brothers struggle cause he has no gf to share his grief or normal life in comparison to anyone else, and I think if he gave up, i'd give up, and if I gave up, my little cousin would give up, and who knows where it ends. Struggle is part of life and you have a purpose. Even at its most unbearable point, we have to hold on to hope, because giving up only starts a chain reaction, whether you think your significant or not.

My advice is on the days your feeling horrible, go to the main page of yahoo, click on a link to some news story that is tragic or horrific, or just unimaginable. . . and read it, and think that could be my life. People with health issues have it bad. Theres hope though, theres the right test that figures it out for you, you just havent figured it out yet. Some people lose their entire family in a plane crash or a car accident on the way to their house. . . and they continue on, people live in the middle of war where their daughters get raped and their sons are sent off to war at 12yrs old, and they continue on. . . people get shot point blank in the head, and they live and move forward. Look for reason to stay strong, not reason to give in and give up.

I wish you the best. I hope your diagnosis comes and is curable or treatable, but most of all I hope you decide that giving up isn't an option.