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Why does my boyfriend NEVER initiate sex?
I've been dating my boyfriend for almost a year. We are each other's first everything, and recently we had sex for the first time because he stayed the night. However, when we hang out, he gets every time we makeout...yet doesn't try anything. When we're laying down and I'm on top of him, just cuddling and kissing now and then while watching a movie, he always scratches my back and moves his hands around my body, occasionally snaps my thong, and my bra strap. Sounds a little sexual right? But here's the thing...yesterday I asked him if he could undo my bra with one hand as a challenge, and he did it. I kissed him, hoping he'd start feeling me up, but instead, he just clipped my bra back together for me. I KNOW he's turned on because, I uh, I can feel it underneath me, if you know what I mean hahaha.
I get really turned on too, but I don't initiate going further because I am never SURE that he wants to.
Why? Why isn't he being more aggressive?
Is he just being respectful? I can't understand why he's okay with getting blue balled every time we hang out. Making out leads to other things for us maybe 1/10 times we hang out. You'd think he'd be more aggressive with initiating something if he really wanted it, wouldn't you?
4 Answers
- 7 years ago
The answer is right in your question. "We are each others first everything" means he probably doesn't KNOW that it turns you on or something. When he did the bra challenge, he might have not known that you were initiating for something a bit more, as sexual. It could sound stupid for a guy to not know that, but think about it. Making him your first mate may mean he doesn't know the integrated feelings or purpose for that act. It all could sound confusing but if it was 'your first', you obviously aren't aware of whats actually happening. He doesn't know what to expect or what to do next since this is all new to him. Open up to him a little more and be a bit more 'obvious' so he knows what you mean (IF he's comfortable!) For example, tell him how hot he could be without the shirt in bed hahaha. But my point is, he's probably afraid of whats happening next and needs a little hand.
- Ford_CraneyLv 77 years ago
Could be he doesn't want to get that serious or risk making a kid.You need to talk to him.However it'd be best for you to wait until you have made a commitment, than to enjoy sex NOW end up pregnant and him telling you he isn't ready blah blah blah.
- Anonymous7 years ago
Being a guy, I can say that he most likely isn't sure how you would react. He is probably nervous and doesn't have much experience in the situation he's in.
Source(s): He's nervous
