Please listen to a short poem I wrote and critique it?

A beautiful piece, to be sure. The simple honesty really serves to drive the point about how much you care for this guy. However, one thing that struck me was the single instance of profanity. "And **** me for being so cliche..." it's funny, and a little cute, but something more for conversation. I'd remove it from the poem simply because it break the flow; the calm, yet eager, river that your words become- that "**** me" is like a big, mossy rock disrupting the rush of your lyric. How about, "And, really, I hate to be so cliche," or something like that. Something a bit more innocent, to match the youthfulness of your poem. Still, I loved it, and I'm sure he'll love it infinitely more. :)

If you're certain he's really into you and if you've already been dating for several months, then yeah. Let him read it. I would think the world of a girl who would write that for me.

If you haven't been dating that long or if you're not especially serious, keep it to yourself. If he's expressed similar sentiments to you, about how you're always on his mind and about the things he thinks are great about you, then that's a green light to respond in kind.

Good luck.