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Is this selfish? Your opinion?
My partner of over two years likes me to come to bed when he does. I'm off work today and tomorrow and start a new job on tuesday. On the other hand he has been off work for a couple of days and needs to be awake in 3 hours from now. I am unable to sleep and because I am off work tomorrow I want to stay up and drink wine. I told him to go to sleep and that I am ok but I cannot sleep. He finds it hard to sleep without me in bed and is angry that I am not in bed. He always comes to bed when I am going to bed (eventhough I tell him he does not have to). I do prefer him to come to bed with me obviously though. Most nights I come to bed when he wants to come to bed, but about once per week I like to stay up. I drink a lot when I am off work the next day. I give him lots of attention, but it keeps him awake if I do not come to bed.
Thank you SpiritHeart.We sound like opposites in our views on relationships but there is as much I can learn from you as you may be able to learn from me (not that I know you). You sound a great person though. There are pearls of wisdom in your answer and its helped very much and I hope you employ that philosophy all the time. Sounds difficult with all your different shifts, but forgetting what I said, if it works for you and you are both happy then who cares!
2 Answers
- 7 years ago
It is not selfish to not go to bed with your partner. If you can't sleep.....you can't sleep. What are you supposed to do? Drug yourself? lol. But, seriously. Do whatever the hell you want! You're not living with mom and dad anymore, therefore you don't need to follow a "bed time" rule. You're an adult. I think it's nice that you try to go to bed with him most of the time. But you deserve a little you time! My partner works nights, so I usually go to bed alone. Even when he's off. I go to bed before he's tired, and I kind of like having the whole bed to myself. I mean...I love him, and I like it when we do fall asleep together. But it's like, once a week. And neither of us care.
It's not selfish. You're not tired. That's like someone telling you to eat with them when you already feel really full. You cannot force it on your body. Stay up. Enjoy your alone time.
- Anonymous7 years ago
He is being unfair!