At what age were you allowed/did you allow your child to wear what he or she wanted?

Question

I'm almost 19 years old. I live at my mom's house because I am a college student for most of the year and therefore cannot work enough to make enough money to move out. I can't live on campus because I can't afford to pay back student loans and am receiving absolutely 0 financial assistance from them for my education.

Since I do have a part-time job (two part-time jobs for the summer), I buy my own clothes. The only time my mother buys me clothes is for Christmas and she bought me a suit skirt today because she's forcing me to go to the funeral of a family member I've never met or seen in my entire life (which has also caused me to cancel all of my shifts this week at work >:0/) and I didn't have anything to wear. However, she always dictates what I wear. If I try to walk out of the house in something she deems too short, she won't let me leave and constantly chastises me about how I should care more about how I look and how men will want to rape me and yada yada. Her definition of too short is anything more than 3" above the knee. I'm also not allowed to have cleavage--which, I never try to, but if a shirt happens to hang low, she won't let me wear it. I'm not allowed to wear crop tops even though I style them to where only 0-3" of flesh is showing. I understand I live under her roof and must follow her rules, but SHE'S NOT PAYING FOR THE CLOTHES. Therefore, why should I have to dress like a 40-year-old?

? · Answer

Oh, sweetie, you're gonna love this fact.
When you graduate and have enough money to move out...

You can wear ANYTHING YOU WANT!

But since you live under her roof, you must live by her rules. If you feel that shes too dictating, talk to her and come to an agreement.

Carnation · Answer

My mother said while she was paying for my clothes, it was  up to her to choose them. Later it bothered her that I was not as fashion conscious as her, and thought of clothes as just ;something to cover my body.;

Fulano · Answer

She's helping you by letting you live there for free, the least you could do is show enough gratitude to live her rules. It is very selfish to think you don't have to do anything and get to live there for free.

I still don't see why you want to dress skimpy so badly. All it does is attract jerks and sex addicts.

? · Answer

I was allowed to wear what i wanted as soon as i was old enough to dress myself lol.

? · Answer

Since I was like 10???

Anonymous · Answer

You live under her roof...please follow her rules and you should talk to her and ask he what to near and not to wear. If your school is okay with clothing, she should support you. I assume your school district does not allow certain clothing which show skin and private areas. She is probably following that guidelines.

pigpenguin91 · Answer

Um.. pretty much always. Obviously, as a really little kid my parents picked out my clothes for me, as I couldn't do it myself. But I don't really remember a time when I was allowed to wear what I wanted for the first time, because it's been that way for basically as long as I can remember.

I suppose there are some restrictions, and my parents might disapprove if I dress in a way which they deem inappropriate. But I've never had a problem with them over how I dress, because I don't dress in terribly revealing ways.

Also, wearing skimpy clothes will not make men rape you. What you wear does not in any way equal your chances of being raped. You are not responsible for other people's actions, and wearing revealing clothing will not make you a rape victim.

In addition to being unfair to girls to force them to be responsible if they're the victim of a crime, it's also highly insulting to guys. By saying that a girl wearing revealing clothing will make a man rape her, it's insinuating that men are no more than animals who can't control themselves.

Your mother needs to learn that a girl's clothing has no affect in whether or not a rapist will take advantage of her. Also, how exactly does your mother stop you from leaving the house? You're 19, not a little kid. Presumably you're semi-independent and can drive yourself places, and your mother can't really force you to stay in the house.

However, simply going against her rules might just cause problems. Sit down with your mother, explain that wearing clothing which show a tiny bit of cleavage or a little bit more leg than she wants will not cause you to be raped. Explain that you cannot be held responsible for other people's decisions and actions, and it is unfair to force you to do so.

Explain that you are paying for your clothes, not her, and you're a legal adult. Hopefully you can sway her a little.

? · Answer

Well my mom didnt really care what clothes i wore, i could wear tank tops and shorts and all that. But she didnt let me wear a bikini until i was 13 and she still doesnt let me wear high heels (im 14 right now, but she let me wear these lik 1 inch wedges lol)

? · Answer

My mom stopped picking out my clothes after the fourth grade. My dad doesn't really care what I wear because he says it's my mom's decision. My mom doesn't really care about what I wear either unless it shows too much skin or if it's gang related. I'm 16 now though.

Crystal C · Answer

You should respect her rules as you are living in her house, but she should not tell you what to wear if she is not the one out in public with you. Try to sit down with her and speak to her as an adult. Remind her that you are no longer her "little" girl but a grown woman. Let her know that you work hard for the clothes you purchase. Explain that when the 2 of you go out together you will dress as she would like but in the mean time this is the way you would like to express yourself. Then remind her that it is only clothes, you could be covering yourself in tattoos or peircings! :)

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At what age were you allowed/did you allow your child to wear what he or she wanted?

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