am I in denial??

Stop assigning blame.

Forget the notion of fault. It is human nature to find something other than ourselves to attach blame to when things go wrong. Like when you knock something off a table, the first thought is often 'who put that there?' rather than self deprecation. Try to learn, rather than assigning blame to someone or something that things happen and it doesn't have to be blamed on someone else's actions. Eradicate the notion of blame and fault and accept that stuff just happens and life goes on. Blaming is an hostile practice and is the result of a conflicted mind, so let go and accept bad things merely as things that have happened rather than the fault of someone, be that yourself or another person.

Once you realise that stuff just happens it's easier to get on with it. If you're doing things already thinking 'this will fail' then i can tell you, its going to do nothing but fail. I know it will seem difficult but try to reset yourself and get rid of all the blame youve been assigning and start with a clean slate. (Definitely cliche) but everyday is the first day of the rest of your life. Try to think like that from now and hopefully you will be less angry since there really is nothing to be angry with. Anger is pointless if you have truly stopped blaming, since there is no vessel to direct the feeling toward.

I know this will probably sound like complete mumbo jumbo but stopping finding fault in my life has certainly helped me, so I hope it will help you too.

if you know about the stuff then you have the know how to take responsibility and solve problems rather than blaming, even if others are a factor.