Is there any hope for us? Would I be a bad parent if I walk away from the relationship?

Hmmm... This is a tough one. He is a good father, as you say...so that is the most important thing right there. Being a new parent (having only one child) can be difficult mentally, and that I understand first hand. From what you posted, it does not sound as though the issues between you and your BF are 'intentional' in the sense that either of you is trying to 'hurt' the other. It does sound more like a lack of mutual understanding, which is VERY common. Some things to possibly consider; separate your relationship with each other, from that of your child. You both need tome together without anyone else in the mix...once in a while...including your baby. I have a friend who has two children, and once a week, regardless of what they did, she and her husband took one evening a week and went out without the children. sometimes it was dinner, a movie, an event. sometimes they just drove around and talked about nothing. Once in a while, my husband and I (we have three children) go on a 'date'. We designate a place, and we show up there in separate cars, and act out our courting all over again, which usually results in super sex later that night. It keeps our relationship fresh (been together 13 years). Family counseling can help a great deal, provided that both of you want to work towards building a healthier relationship. In the end, would you be a bad parent if you walked away from the relationship? No. Just remember that the relationship that you both have with your child is separate from your relationship as a couple...or an x couple. You both have, and will have different parenting skills and ideas. As long as you both have your child's best interests in mind, all is good. Hope that some of this helps. Be well!

this guy sounds a bit controlling and you have a passive nature that means you can be easily manipulated (this is not a bad thing but it is when you're with someone like him)

if you feel it would benefit you and your child, then leave. if you are not happy with him, you are under no obligation to be with him. you don't have to cut contact for him seeing the baby, but you don't have to be with him.

get support from your family/friends or people you trust so you know that when he makes you feel bad about things (Which he will) then you can turn to them for support and advice.

to be honest, i think you're doing the right thing in walking away from him. its a pity you have a life long tie to him by having a child, but this isn't the kids fault. this is your boyfriends fault.

i'd also try to be strong enough to stand up to hima nd tell him how he's made you feel and WHY you want to leave. again, maybe ask someone to be there when you do it so he is less likely to manipulate you or make you feel guilty for doing something that in the long run will make you happy and by you being happy, you'll raise a happy child.

Use all your strength and motherly instinct to build up the confidence to do this and remember, it benefits your baby as well, not just you.

be brave and i wish you the very best of luck

You have an obligation to keep your kid safe. I've done tons of stupid relationship stuff, so I won't judge,but why did you have a kid w/ a guy that was clearly a nut? It's too late to change the fact that you're a mom, so now you have to suck it up and do what's best for jr. That includes acting like an adult and stop whining about how your boyfriend makes you feel inadequate as a parent.

"Is there any hope for us?... if I say please do not say/do this, I can not cope with that right now, the very first thing he will do is exactly that"

It's hard to say whether there's any hope for you, since you didn't give very concrete examples of your problems. What sort of thing does he do, when you tell him not to do it?

"if I ask him to get up and take the child to his swimming class, he returns and tell me how hard it was for him to stay awake while driving"

Why are you scheduling swimming classes while your boyfriend is sleeping?

"Would I be a bad parent if I walk away from the relationship?"

Yes. If you break up your child's family, then you're a bad parent.

This reminds me of my fiancés ex, he eventually became also physically abusive.

He started out the relationship being good to her then slipped into being controlling and she was blind sided at the time she was pregnant and he made her get a abortion she felt no other choice cause then he was getting to the point where he would beat her and say the same stuff your bf said to you....

Leave now

After reading this, i bet any man with intention to get u to bed can never fail. Let's not talk abt him being THE DAD here, where is your sense of protecting your children? He can't take away the children, his children are his only bait to get you. No one in the world can take away your children, even the court would favor the mom on custody rather than dad. If you are not married to him, please leave together with children. If you are married you can file divorce alone one sided, its not necessary he must agree to it. Just forget abt how he gonna threaten you with no child support and all kinda crap, find a good job to support yourself and the kids.

Leave now