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My best friend is making me feel down?
I have been friends with my best friend for a good number of years, I do know he does get down and I always try to help him get past it. But lately he has gotten down so much so, it is affecting our friendship. He hardly talks to me and has changed while I am exactly the same. I am feeling frustrated that every postive words of encouragement are met with 'why bother'.'you don't know that' .'nvm' ...'Ok' ...words like those. I am the one communicating with him lately, and feel uncomfortable right now, cos he isn't responsive as he used to be.
I have a lot going on in my life, I am still not over losing the love of my life two years ago and family complications and ill health, and now my best friend is like 'not present'
I have helped him with lots of things and through very difficult times before but this time I feel I have to dig deep into me to find the strength and to stay positive. It is affecting me. I have told him and we have spoken about this, but nothing has changed and he won't talk to me about it. I feel shut out.
I just don't know what to do. He told me he feels lost and alone. He is from another country but not living in the one I am in so I can't be with him easily.
I just don't know what to do. Any ideas or recommendations please?
Genuine question, genuine replies please.
Thanks
2 Answers
- A Decade AgoLv 77 years ago
The more you hang out with a person that is always down, yes, it's going to eventually exhaust you. If every time he talks to you about his problems, depression, or just something that tends to be negative, then he's also not really respecting you as a person that has needs from a friendship, and you're not supposed to be treated like some personal psychiatrist.
If a friend is not letting you feel good, and comfortable, then I'd highly suggest you take some time apart from him. And there's nothing wrong with that.You don't owe him anything, becuase you've already given so much of yourself and your time to him when he seems to rarely appreciate your efforts in trying to make him feel better anyway. And what does he give back? Nothing. He does not help you with your problems, or even bothers to ask if you're okay, or even thoughtful of your life.
You've already spoken about this with him, which you did your part by bringing this to his awareness, but if he truly cared, he would have changed, and he didn't. If he's not talking, it's obvious he does not want to or chooses not to, and we can't force people to come around. Take this opportunity to your advantage and concentrate on your issues. Wait for him to come around. But if he does, don't always let him do all the talking. You have a right to express your feelings as well.
- Anonymous7 years ago
He may be in a very deep depression, maybe you should alert someone? too many times I see things like this, friends expressing how down THEY feel, how down their friend is making THEM. Do something about our friend because you never know what a person is going to do, he may make a very bad decision and then you will only blame yourself more.
