would you go to daughters wedding if she put her stepfathers name in place of yours on invitations?

Go to the wedding, act dignified (but not stuck up) speak, socialize and when asked, say I am xxxxx's father and let it go. They (the they everyone talks about) will wonder why he did not walk her down the aisle, but she will look insensitive and uncaring because she did this to a man who seems to be a genuinely nice person, but you have to tell him, the sooner the better, give him time to adjust. Or, make up some silly rule that participating bridal party has to be listed in program. But, he is still going to be hurt. Very insensitive. And maybe I shouldn't say this, but is she looking for more gifts and money in the future by asking stepfather, very selfish! One day she will regret this, but I cannot think of any way to make this easier on your husband. Say his ex-wife talked her into it????? Perhaps you talk to her in private, tell her how crushed he will be and ask her if she knows any way that she can help out, help him to not be so hurt----she may not care, but giving the benefit of the doubt, maybe she just didn't think how much it would hurt him and unless she has any ideas, this will at least let her know she is as one answerer says "a spoiled brat" Do in private and do not ell hubby. Maybe they can talk later?

Yes.

The invitiation is issued by the "hosts" of the wedding (someone paying for it), if he hasn't contributed financially to the wedding that could be why his name isn't on it. If he did contribute, then his name should be on it.

If she's not having him walk her does the aisle, I assume there is a reason. Perhaps she is closer to her step father, or her mother had some influence over the choice.

It's also possible that the daughter actually didn't order the invites, maybe her mom did.

If she didn't insist on him being on the invitation it's rude and insensitive but there's really nothing you can do about it. A good parent doesn't disown their kids because of something petty like this. Not going to the wedding will cause more problems then it will solve and will likely train the relationship further.

"She is all he talked about when we first me he is so proud of her, I cannot understand why she did this to him."

Really? How long have you been married? You don't know why "she did this to him"? Maybe it wasn't about him, but rather whatever distance is clearly there between them. It is rarely just about money or who paid the most for what - kids in a divorce get pushed and pulled back and forth for no good reason, forced to choose when they should never be. It could very well be that mother has influenced her or told her things to drive a wedge between them.

I would encourage him to go to his daughter's wedding, make a point to be there. Suck up whatever hurt or disappointment he may be feeling and realize that not going is something that can never be undone. Encourage them to talk, to work things out and hopefully build a better relationship for the future.

OF COURSE he/you should attend the wedding.

This woman started as a little girl in a broken home. She ended up with at least three if not four parents. You didn't say for sure but I am getting the impression that the stepfather was her live-in parent.

You don't understand how she could "do this" to your husband? That's probably what she said when her father moved out.

I'm not trying to be harsh, but your husband is not the victim here....that little girl was.

Her life and family is what it is from HER perspective. She has room enough in her heart to love ALL of her parents. But she chose her stepfather, the person who raised her on a daily basis, to walk her down the aisle. Your husband needs to get over it. Divorce causes pain FOREVER and this is just part of it. It isn't HER fault.

A loving parent would suck up the pain, realize their role in causing it and then smile and attend the wedding.

Be aware that you were not there when the first marriage broke up - or worse yet, perhaps you were. Permanent damage is always done to the kids, and you will never know how that girl feels or felt, or how things have truly been between them since from her perspective.

He can be as proud as he wants, but the fact is, he was not there when she needed him for whatever reason. He may have wanted to, but he wasn't, and what you see now is the result. Divorce isn't fair to anyone, and it's never over for a child of divorce.

It isn't your place to fix this or be involved at all. Let him deal with it in his own way when he sees the invitation. You married a divorced man with a child, and this is his business - theirs. It's damage that is lifelong for both of them, so try not to be surprised. There may be grandchildren, and it will only be more complicated.

You support him as your husband, but don't get in between them. Saying anything to mean she is a brat or overindulged or rude not is unfair, it would attacking the girl of whom he is so proud. Don't get in between anyone and their child. It isn't a safe place to be, and it isn't your place.

Find a nice dress in a very subtle dress that is not loud or black, and be as nice as you would to anyone. That is what you can do for him.

Yes he should show up at the wedding for his daughter.

No matter how this hurt him, not going to her wedding he would regret for the rest of his life.

You should invite her over and have him tell her how hurt he was being left out. That he would do the father daughter dance with her. That he is her father, should be included in her wedding.

Not going will be a regret he will never get back

Go to the wedding. Don't say anything about it at the wedding.

He can talk to her about it afterward if he wants to.

She did this "to him" because the stepfather had more of an impact on her daily life than he did. Or, she just turned out to be a spoiled brat. Who knows.

He should only go to the wedding if he loves his daughter.

Of course it is HIS duty to attend his daughters wedding. Whatever she does on her own wedding is none of your business, not you need to withhold the invitation or cause drama because you are affected when you had nothing to do with them. You are a witch.

It was very rude of her, but he should go to the wedding.