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Should I tell my boyfriend about a troublemaking friend ?
My boyfriend recently moved in and I have encouraged him to make friends in the area. (he previously lived in the next state) He recently told me that he befriended a co-worker, who I’ll call “Tom”.
It turns out Tom was the best friend of my previous partner, and Tom’s “inference” was a large part of our relationship ending. He would tell my ex-partner things about me that were either exaggerations or half-truths. For example: I was at dinner with a co-worker one night, and Tom told my partner that he saw me out with another guy and we looked ‘cozy’ (it was a co-worker, and we are friendly, but not THAT friendly).
Another friend, Mike, who recently broke up with his boyfriend, told me that Tom is the roommate Mike’s ex-boyfriend. My friend explained that Tom was part of the reason that they broke up.
While it’s been years since I’ve seen or talked to Tom, and I don’t want to discourage my boyfriend from making new friends, this concerns me. Our relationship is strong, and I feel that my boyfriend trusts me (he has no reason not too), but should I say something to him about Tom ?
6 Answers
- ?Lv 77 years ago
Yes. Well, sort of. Definitely don't try to tell your boyfriend who to be friends with, but a vague warning that you and Tom have a weird personal history and you don't trust him is in order. I would avoid specifics, both so that your boyfriend can make up his own mind about Tom and so that it doesn't sound like you're making dramatic accusations -just something like 'I used to know him, he has a habit of telling tall tales, I don't really like him or trust him' should suffice.
- NeoLv 57 years ago
You do need to tell him about Tom and what he did. You don't have to "ban" him from befriending Tom as he can make his own decision. Maybe Tom has changed his ways.
- Anonymous7 years ago
Definitely tell your boyfriend. Tom has some real problems and you dont want him to try to break you and your boyfriend up
- Anonymous7 years ago
Nah. Manipulative slut.
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- Anonymous7 years ago
Tom is not a friend or coworker if he has that type of behavior you should just tell him to keep his nose where it don't belong!!
- ?Lv 77 years ago
I think you mean "interference" rather than "inference" but yes, I think you should tell your boyfriend about Tom's Nosy Parker behavior. He sounds horrible.