Who do you think is in the wrong?

You shouldn't hold grudges but all doesn't have to be ok for you to be cordial & respectful to her. Be the bigger person & treat her the same as you would any other guest in your home unless her attitude gets out of hand, then you only deal with the situation without bringing up what happened before.

It's not like you have to see her every day. You'll get through it. Be nice, don't cause a scene. It will be over before you know it. You have nothing to prove.

Well, do not be overly friendly but be polite! You are within your right not to approve of her life style! From what you say about her she seems like a very rude person! I hope she has enough sense to tone it down because after all she is in your house and should have enough respect for you and your wife to act like an adult! This too shall pass! So hang in there!

Your house, your rules. If you don't want her in don't let her in. It's going to cause a fuss but better your in'laws getting stressed than you. Keep your cool it will anoy them even more.