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When should one say "I love you?" Too soon?
My bf of 4 months and I were joking around and he said "I love you, but Im going to throw you over the balcony." I know its too early to say I love you, that was the first he said it. i got all excited and he said he didnt mean it that way. He likes me A LOT but not love, that takes time. He will tell me when he loves me.
I thought he did bc, hes been much more into me and our rs lately. He introduced me to all his friends and siblings, he met my parents, he helped me move homes, find a new job, buys me surprise gifts all the time, called me pretty after 4 months of dating before it was always cute! He even told me im unique and there is no one else like me. He constantly wants to hang out, and ive spent all weeknights at his place last week. When he went out of town he said it may sound lame and girlish but he was going to miss me and would call. He even left me a shirt of his while he left bc I love his scent! Are these things a man would do if he is NOT in love? All my friends get guys that fall in love with them after 3 months, but.it seems hr may take awhile. What gives?
4 Answers
- KherovaLv 77 years agoFavorite Answer
Take heart, you just don't see how he feels. He took it back because he was afraid. Afraid that if he told you, you might get turned off. Afraid of the responsibility of using that word. That admitting it to himself means that you now wield a lot of power to hurt him, and that he too could cause you more pain by mishandling the level of emotion that goes along with love.
He does love you, but he may not be ready to take responsibility within himself, or be at a place to be vulnerable to let you in quite yet. Give him some time to process these heavy feelings, and take heart that he does have them for you, he just wants to figure out what they all mean so he doesn't screw up something so important. Try not to pressure him, but find ways to let him know that if he did say it, you would be receptive. Don't stack them together too much, but little ways. His words were kind of testing the water, so you should respond similarly. Like tell him, "Yesterday when you said that if you told me you loved me it would be too early, you were right, but just so you know, any time after tomorrow, and I would be fine with it." This gives him the green light, but doesn't put pressure on him. It allows him control, so he can feel like it's his decision (that you aren't forcing him), but also lets him know it will be ok.
And lastly, give up on the idea of there being a certain date to expect "I love you" to happen by or not. It is true you can say it too soon, but what is too soon really depends on the people involved. It might be as soon as two weeks if both people are super into each other, or it might be two years if one of them has issues. It is more about getting to that point at roughly the same time as each other, than getting there by the 47th day (for instance).
- janeLv 57 years ago
Yeah because time determines love lol. Humans are loved until they show their true colors. It takes 1 second for someone to act like an azz and another second for love to disappear.
- Anonymous7 years ago
Maybe he's just afraid of saying and he loves you and you aren't going to feel the same way about him.
