I left my job of 9 years to be a stay at home mom to my autistic child, does this make me lazy?

I've always worked since my son was born. He's nine now and has severe autism. The older he's getting the more challenging his disability is becoming. I left my job of nine years about two months ago to stay home with my son. My ex husband argued with me this morning because I asked for child support (it's been almost a month since he's given me anything) he said I rely on him for money and it's not his responsibility and it's not his fault I left my job and have no money. He told me I sit on my butt all day long and that I'm lazy for not working anymore. I can't stop crying and I feel terrible. He's court ordered $80 a week and I'm lucky if he gives me that once a month or once every two months in 2012 the whole year he didn't pay anything at all. I try to work with him I know he has bills to. I never call the courts on him when he doesn't pay. When I do ask for something or even for him to buy winter pants for our son he breaks me down and calls me names. He barely sees our son he doesn't know what I go through with his autism on a daily basis. I couldn't handle the stress of work and autism all together. So what I wanted to be a stay at home mom after nine years of working. I don't see how that makes me useless and lazy. I just can't get his words out of my head. He makes me feel like a bum because I asked him for help with our child.. It doesn't seem fair that he talk to me like this. But he just has this way of making me feel like maybe he's right.