I think I'm ruining my life?

I'm 19 and a chick.

I just randomly got out of a relationship due to confusion. I think I really need time to reevaluate my life. For the past 4 years I've been out of school and alone for most of my life I've never had real friends and was by myself.

I got really boy crazy around 9th grade and since then I've just sorta been in 3 unhappy relationships and whether I admit it or not I feel like I'm just having male friends because I want to be somewhat flattered otherwise I'm with family.

This is making me weird and ruin a lot of friendships I think because I'm not taking time or even trying to focus on myself or future. I'm not prompt or anything but I do know this isn't healthy and I need to be my true self again amd not this dramatic selfish girl.

I've become selfish and I see myself doing it and I need to stop. It's hard though but I feel like I need to be alone for a few months or something like o used to.

I just don't know how to gwt away from relationships and be myself again. What do I do? I want real friends not lovers