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Linds
Lv 7
Linds asked in Family & RelationshipsFriends · 6 years ago

Try and save a friendship or let it go?

This is a change for me. Normally, I'm the one answering the questions. This is going to be long because I want to make sure I provide enough of a back story to help with the feedback.

I am in my early thirties, I met my good friend back when I was 14 and at the time he was 20. I know what was a 20 year old doing with a 14 year old? Who knows. But nothing ever happened. I had a crush on him, but he wasn't interested. Years later, he had a crush on me but I was dating someone. It always seemed like our timing was off but we stayed close friends despite everything. I am not married with a family and he is currently dating someone. And that is wear the story begins.

His girlfriend befriended me on FB. I don't know why, maybe because she saw that we had friends in common-her boyfriend and we have she used to work with one of my childhood best friends. Well one night she kept posting stuff on facebook and I could tell that she was depressed and down and she talked about giving up. It was enough to cause concern. So I asked Billy-What's up with her? And he said she was depressed and asked if I talked to her. That she needed a girl friend. I said sure, glad to help.

....Hindsight-I should have kept my thoughts to myself.

ANYWAY, I started to talk to her and she just old me that she was depressed. She was forever in school it seemed, living at home with her parents, raising her daughter etc. She then asked me how I do the friend in common and her boyfriend.

Update:

See below for more information.

3 Answers

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  • Linds
    Lv 7
    6 years ago

    Continuation: And I told her. She started to ask questions about him. And he already told her that she could ask me anything he had nothing to hide. Well I mentioned how I lost touch with him for a year and a half and we reconnected and that during that time he had been married. SHE THREW A FIT. That he was married and never told her. I tried to calm her down. It was a bad marriage, one he didn't talk about etc. She didn't care. She was all about: I've known him for 12 years and he never told me. I knew him for 18 years and the only reason I knew was I was friends with him before the marriage. I tried to calm her down tell her to be reasonable. Billy's defense: He thought she knew. But didn't think it was that big of a deal. She told me good night and blocked me and told Billy to enjoy his new girlfriend (me). I realize she has low self-esteem. The boyfriend who fathered her child was emotionally abusive towards her. But she has no reason to see me as a threat. I even told her that Billy is like the brother I never had. But whatever. Block me. That's fine. I thought it was immature. But whatever. She wasn't my friend to begin with. I gave Billy an out. I didn't want to come between this relationship. If he needed me to be in the background. I would. He said no. He wasn't going to stop talking to me. Now he told me that he had told her that he stop talking to me but he didn't.

    Present time: Few month had past and he posted a picture of him with her and from the one sided conversations (since she blocked me I can't see what she has written) I can tell that they are in love and have talked about Marriage. I messaged him a few days ago, congratulating him on the relationship and wondered if my chance she could unblock me because he was having a lot of one sided conversations and how I found the whole thing to be silly. Which is true it is, but I was trying to make light of it all. I did that in the morning. I get home from work and he has blocked me.

    I am not 100% convinced that it was him. I am 99% sure it was her that blocked me. I have thought about messaging him on my husband's account but if she is monitoring his account that won't get be anywhere. I can call And/or text him. I'm not for texts but if I call and I get Voice mail I'm afraid my message will beep out on me.

    So my question is: Should I attempt to reach out see if he really did block me and work through this or just ignore it and let the whole thing go?

    I realize after the fact that I inadvertently insulted her. Never meant to. I was also trying to be funny and anyone who knows me would see that but she's never given me the chance to get to know me.

    So thoughts? Comments?

    Things to edit: I am married with a family. He is 37, the girlfriend is 35

    As a friend, I told Billy that I didn't think she was ready to date. She has too much emotional baggage from her previous relationship. And if she views me as competition when there isn't any, then I wonder if she gives all of his girl friends the third degree. She has low self-esteem, low confidence. Been in school on and off for 12 years and going for a degree in something, to be perfectly honest is going to be just as hard to get in to (personal experience) but oh well.

    Billy's marriage: His wife cheated on him and got pregnant by another man while married to him.

  • Anonymous
    6 years ago

    I think you should let it go...last thing you need is a drama .... be friends with people who deserve you and make you happy and not let their bfs or gfs upset you...

  • 6 years ago

    please give me the answers to the maths questions, I've tried your website and just give up.

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