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This girl I like is too good for me?
There's this girl that I recently kinda like, but I've had past experiences with girls and I just get hurt every time. I wish I didn't fall in love, but I do. I fear that I may be falling in love with this one girl, but she's just so amazing and I know she'll just cause me pain in the end. I used to like her a while ago but she had a boyfriend and I was so hurt by the pain that I thought it would be a good idea to just shut everybody out of my life. She's really beautiful and talented and I don't know if I'm worth that. Another reason why I think she's too good for me is because she has perfect pitch, which essentially means she has the ability to hear a note and give the name of the pitch with nearly 100%, if not 100%, accuracy. My choir teacher says I also have perfect pitch, but it's "undeveloped" and I'm still in the process of developing it and learning how to use it effectively, since I just started singing last year. I'm worried I'll completely **** up with it and feel like I'm not even worth her time because of that one mistake. Though perfect pitch is also one of the reasons why I like her. And supposedly she's also not allowed to date, though she has said that it depends on the guy. This would mean that even if I can appeal to her and get past the fact that I may not even be worth her time in the first place, I'd still have to appeal to her parents. She smiles at me a lot, which is what caused me to like her in the first place, but I have no idea why she does that.
I like that she has perfect pitch because it's something we can relate on. We're in trigonometry together and I'm friends with her ex-boyfriend. We're also somewhat close friends, though we're not insanely close. I had a friend tell me that I shouldn't go through with it because it could make things awkward and I may never be able to talk to her again but I don't speak to her that often as it is so I suppose I'm willing to risk that. I also need help dealing with her parents.
She also looks at me a fair bit. She doesn't stare, but she keeps looking off in my direction if we're in the same room. I was at an event with her last Monday and she was in front of me but kept looking back at me. At the same event, I was joking around with my friend about what I call "perfect pitch dirty talking." I have perfect pitch but I just found out about it and so I've been making a lot of weird jokes about it. I told this friend to read something from my phone but not to speak it.
To my dismay, he did end up reading it out loud and made it into a huge deal. I was getting all over him trying to stop him from reading it since she was in the room at the time and could probably overhear us. She doesn't really ever text me back anymore, though she didn't text me back even before this incident. She'd text me back occasionally but they would usually be very delayed responses. I walked up to try to talk to her today but she was talking to her friends and I got shy.
I ended up just talking to a mutual friend to ask what music we're singing this weekend for Student Band at church. The girl I like ended up just looking over at me and her friend.
I was also looking back through a conversation with a friend back when I liked this same girl last year. I mentioned how most people think I'm a freak because I have a tendency to stare at random people for no apparent reason. He replied "No, she likes you, or so she says, but your obsessive staring during choir is creeping her out." I suppose it depends on the interpretation of that one message sent by my friend, but I'm honestly not sure how to interpret it. What does this all mean?
1 Answer
- Anonymous6 years ago
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