What are some funny and very stereotypical "old people" items I could give to my uncle for his 60th birthday (as a joke present)?

My uncle is turning 60 - and we are all taking the piss (Aussie slang for "making fun") because he is one of those people who believes he is still in his prime, still living out the days of his youth etc. (and looking back at past photos of him, the years haven't been kind!) I want to put together a joke present to stir him up - so far I have the following:

Haemorrhoid cream, adult diapers, socks & sandals combo, arthritis gel, seniors card application, prune juice, sponge (for sponge baths!) and a pack of handkerchiefs.

Any other suggestions for similar items would be fantastic.

And to any of you "do gooders" out there who think I'll hurt his feelings should move on. This uncle has been a constant presence in my life since I was 3 and to put things in perspective, this is what he got me for my 13th birthday: Tissues, aspirin, a hot water bottle, chocolate and a box of tampons. Yes, a PMS pack. So payback will be sweet and just having a good laugh with my family will be sweeter. Thanks!