Comfort needed from suffers who follow Jesus? How do I become joyful?

I know God is real and I have been suffering since I converted to walking with faith. I am ashamed to declare that without medication I wish I was dead? Why does Jesus allow me to behurt by sinners so much and keep me poor, no rerelationship, sleeping at a friend's, tired all time, know body helps me? I stole a few times from people who had plenty, I took care of my children, I stopped drinking and drugging, I pray and give thanks all the time yet sinners are allowed to ruin my life, ability to work, provide for my boys, rent a room? I don't know what more Jesus wants from me? I only have everlasting life as a future but I am healthy and it seems these sinners want me completely homeless again? I hate life! I have advice for everyone but I am helpless to stop theevil being done to me? Why are rreligious people singing and smiling on tv? How do I find joy in my misery?