How to prepare and control anxiety about a scheduled csection?

The only option to have a vaginal birth is to make arrangements with a different doc at a facility that will perform VABC. If going to a different town is not an option, then begin planning on having c-section. You managed to think your way out of the PPD and trauma from the past experience, so ideally, you can use this past experience to reassure yourself that you will get past it all again. Unfortunately, your past experience was so negative, it apparently has caused you to develop a phobia.

There are techniques to overcome phobias. Take a look at the technique described at the link. Stop worrying whether or not the same problems will arise - this creates an unnecessary layer of anxiety. Expect that all the same problems will occur again and focus your thoughts on how you intend to get though the problems. Thinking though solutions to the problems reduces anxiety, while worrying about whether or not the problems will occur again increases anxiety. Practice the visualization and relaxation steps at the link until you begin to feel confident that you will be able to handle a c-section. You can do it. You can put up with insensitive, oafish behavior of doctors and nurses in the recovery room and with several weeks of pain and discomfort from the procedure - it will be uncomfortable and difficult but in the bigger scheme of things, its just a temporary situation. AND you are having a new baby!!

You will probably get a spinal, so you will be awake, but you won't feel anything apart from lots of pushing, pulling and pressure. I won't lie, it's not a pleasant sensation, but it won't be anything you can't handle. A typical c-section (barring complications) lasts about an hour. It takes them about 20 minutes to open you up and deliver your baby, and roughly 30 - 40 minutes to stitch you back up. I have had two sections. Both times, after my babies were delivered, checked and wiped down, they were handed to me while the doctor stitched me back up. I didn't get to hold them for the entire operation though. After about 15 minutes or so, they took my babies away (husband went with them), while the doctors finished up with me. With my first c-section I spent only 5 minutes in recovery. With my second I was in recovery for 15 minutes because my blood pressure was REALLY low. The minute I was back in my room, a nurse rushed in with my baby... so at most I spent only 20 minutes away from them and I started breastfeeding them the second the baby was given to me. If you feel up to it, they will leave the baby with you once you're back in your room, and they will give you space and time to bond. You won't be able to get out of bed for a few hours after the surgery, but they usually place the baby on your chest so you can cuddle, and if desired a nurse will help you to breastfeed (it's a bit tricky getting a baby to latch, when you're flat on your back). In my experience, they try to keep the 'separation' period as brief as possible. Good luck... it's really not as bad as you're imagining. I know, I was going out of my mind both times... but in the end it's not so bad.

Find another doctor who can give you the experience you want. There are plenty out there. Just start calling today.