Was i right to give a second chance?

Question

Ok so me and this girl used to see each other for a while. Me amd her got on very well and were very open with each other. She has a past.... not a major past but lengthy one and has been hurt very much by guys. Me i had a few girls but not as much as her.

Bascailly me and her where getting on really well. She giving me all the signs she wanted a relationship and said to me on numours times saying that she want me with her always but wanted to wait cause she was scared because of her past. She always initated these types convos but always knew i cared for her and wanted something the same.

But yet one day she came to mine and we acting like we normally would and then all of a sudden she gets grumpy with me and when i ask what wrong she tells me she doesnt want a relationship and that she bad at them etc. And left my house just like that. Before that she told me how i would just be another fella and that she doesnt see why im so upset.

That was the last proper convo me and her had. I would see her when im out on a saturday night or working in my local nightclub and she seems happy enough and i would say hello.

Only recently she started speaking to me again and some said she was sorry for everything and that she want a second chance. I made sure to let her know how i felt and that if she want another chance she has to work for it and decides to meet up and talk. Am i right to do so? Should even i consider a second chance on her or just leave it in the past?

Mircat · Answer

Leave it in the past.  She had issues when she came into the relationship that caused problems within the relationship.  Then she broke it off because of those issues.  My feeling is that unless she dealt with those issues, she's still carrying around emotional baggage and it will only be a matter of time before she goes off the deep end again and dumps you.  By dealing with issues, I mean getting into counseling and finding out why she kept allowing guys into her life that hurt her and why she didn't have the personal power to stop it and move on.  It's one thing to get hurt but when it happens over and over then you have to believe the girl doesn't know how to make good choices and that she needs to work on that.

? · Answer

I've been in a situation like this before. Hey man, the truth is she is too self absorbed to handle a give-and-take in a relationship. You like the idea and hope but if she has had so many relationship failures in her past like you said, that's a red flag alone. She's lonely for now but trust me, if things got serious she'd still keep you on the back burner while she doesn't feel lonely and can explore her options with other guys. This is the type of girl who will treat you like crap of you treat her right or will treat you right if you treat her like crap. No second chances for this one when there's billions of better women on this planet, okay?

Jolie · Answer

I think you're being very mature and respectful to her. Use this time to work on you and shift your focus. She may come back.

best wishes.

Boner Da · Answer

Just let her work your knob for the time being, while you look for something better.

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Was i right to give a second chance?

4 Answers