Need advice on boyfriend? Break up or not.?

my boyfriend cheated on me in the past. It was on my birthday. I went home to celebrate with friends. I didn't find out about this until late November that year via snooping his email because of a bad feeling.

He claimed he cheated because I couldn't trust him. He claimed that it was because of my reservations from a previous guy who cheated on me and verbally abused me. But even in the beginning, my boyfriend pressured me to be his girlfriend, and blamed me for choosing that guy instead of him. This was all during our time at college. I moved in with him to get closer and because I lost my mom to lung cancer, and wanted positive vibes and good people to be around. That summer he cheated on me on my birthday.

When I confronted him, he cried crocodile tears, apologized and said that it didn't happen. He supposedly cheated on me with a transgendered woman. Admittedly I was frustrated by the cheating. I forgave him but encouraged that he talk to me more about why it happened, and I even suggested that we work together to explore his sexual interests because I'm kind of kinky and like to explore my own sexuality/sensuality.

He wouldn't budge much, his story changed, and he started blaming me and that I was pushing him to tell the truth. He started calling me out of my name, disrespecting me in front of his friends, etc. eventually he became physically abusive too.

The greatest hang up is that he's been present through so much hardship of mine. The loss of my mom, my dad...