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I am having a hard time because I have always been rejected?
Well ever since I can remember I have somehow been different from other people my age. I fit but not quite in elementary school. Then came middle school...I guess I thought I fit in but I started to notice that I didn't really. I'm a nice person but maybe a little guarded.I only made very few friends and was not popular whatsover. Was always made to feel like an outcast and not attractive. I am tall, and that fueled a lot of negativity from people, specifically boys. I have been called goliath, sasquatch etc. I was harassed on myspace in 9th grade from a troll who made a fake account from are school, and said everybody thought I was an ogre. Just hurtful stuff like that. I think I never let it bug me but I realize now how much it hurt my self esteem. Now I am 20 and still don't have many friends. I like to hide out. What do I do?
I have never bullied anybody in my entire life or started a rumor about someone. Throughout school I was never that type of person and usually kept to myself. I was a bit of a loner. Some of it may have been by choice but even if I wanted to hang around a lot of the people they would have shot me down. I just stopped trying. I am at the point in my life that I still feel rejected 8 times out of 10. I have met some nice people but I am still outcasted in a lot of ways. Kind of hurts.
I was never invited to any dances in middle school or high school. I was made to feel very unattractive and just not someone worth the time. Idk...I just don't really know why I am still carrying that hurt with me. I think I never dealt with it then, I have very low self esteem, have a hard time being out in public because I think I look bad and typically avoid stores. I am having a hard time getting a job because I like to hide away mostly. I have struggled with depression since 14.
