Boyfriend doesn't want to pay for me when we eat out ???!!!?

Please, crawl out from under that rock. Work with the guy, if he asks you out, tell him you don't have the money to go. If he really wants you to go, he'll tell you he will pay for it. Or suggest doing something else, tell him you aren't hungry, eat at home and go see a movie. Take turns paying for the date. Cook for him at home. He may just be on a tight budget, he may just be a cheap SOB. Just talk to him about it, he probably has a reason for it. It's not really his place to take care of you, not in today's world.

I love how this question always ends up with the boyfriend being a misogynist pig/cheapskate, or the girlfriend being an entitled princess. The question is simply what to do, and the answer is just as simple. You need to communicate with him about what you feel your wants and needs are. You want a man who is going to pay for you, he may not want a girl that expects him to do so. In this situation, he could feel that he's nothing more than just a paycheck for you, while you feel that he doesn't care enough to even take you somewhere nice. Something I will say, though. A lot of women who want men to pay for everything find a man that does so and treats them little better than property. She's bought and paid for in his eyes, and while you might not want for much financially, you'll be treated only slightly better than an escort by men like that. The answer here is communication. You two need to get your needs out on the table and know if it will truly work for you.

You're not quite sure WHY your b/f pays sometimes and doesn't on other occasions. You definately need to talk with him and find out where he's coming from* I dont think women should EXPECT to have everything paid for*...back in the old days, yes, it was something that was expected*..the man would always pay, but we're many years ahead of that now..and women work, make good money and should be able to pay their own way as well*. YES< you're not able to at the moment, but that doesn't mean you can't cook a lovely homemade meal for the 2 of you* I'm sure HE"s not expecting 'the woman to be in the kitchen slaving over a hot stove 24/7) BUT................for you to show ur appreciation , cooking a lovely meal once in a while would be appreciated by him im sure~

I'm dating a guy who is similar in some ways when it comes to him not wanting to pay for the meals and stuff. A lot of times if he offers to pay at all when we are ordering he will begin SLOWLY pulling out his wallet and saying I can pay if I am faster. He puts it in a way that makes me feel bad if I don't pay my half and sometimes his as well. When I do pay he will hug me in front of everyone who is watching and say he has the best girl ever. However, I still feel kind of like maybe he doesn't value me as much as he values money. There have also been occasions when he has paid for everything for the weekend and then suggested that I reimburse him for my part in cash! Say what you will, there are plenty of guys who feel that it is their role to pay for the the girl's meal and most people in the southern US where I live would feel that a guy was cheap or uncaring if he didn't. My mom and I went and had lunch with my bf back when he and I first began dating and the guy didn't even offer to pay for himself or me but just let my mom foot the whole bill. When we got into the car after that my mom was like "WOW"....this is totally not the way that a guy should treat the girl he loves or her mother. Deep down inside I know she is right, but it is so hard to think that maybe I should move on to someone else because of this.

Eating out can get very expensive. There are a lot of activities you guys can do together that don't involve spending money. Perhaps you should think about getting a job, so you can pay for your own things. It is not your boyfriend's responsibility to take care of you. You have to learn how to be an independent person, and not reply on other people.

No woman is entitled to treat a man as her meal ticket (in your case literally). It's for you to say what you can and want to do and what you can't or won't, with your money. It's up to him to do the same about his money. It's called equality, women have fought for this for a long time, you could think of it as a form of respect. If your relationship is good in other ways, go with it, stick to doing things together that you can afford with your money, and if he's also happy with that then that's great. He might or might not want to pay something sometimes to help you, or he may feel for a whole lot of good reasons, or not so good reasons, that that is not what he wants to do. It's up to you to understand him better. The reasons behind his behaviour may make him a good long-term partner (eg he's saving hard for the future, he doesn't like frittering his hard-earned money away, he doesn't like the feeling of "buying" a woman's company, he doesn't want a woman with a taste for spending), or may make him a difficult partner (eg he's just mean, or he doesn't think you deserve it). Or what? It's up to you to find out! Good luck.

I am in the same situation as you and I HATE it. At first my boyfriend paid for EVERYTHING, took me out, moved me in, let me use his car the whole nine. But after a few months all we do is argue about money CONSTANTLY. He makes 18 dollars an hour and I make 7.25, I barely make enough to buy toilet paper. I don't expect my boyfriend to pay for everything, but if you truly care about someone you don't attack them about finances, If I made more money then my boyfriend I wouldn't try to make him feel like less of a man like most women with money do. Now, I hate to say this but we are living in a different time, obviously you are a traditional girland there is nothing wrong with that you need to find man who values the same things as you do, and I can tell you right now you do not want to be with him get out while you can. You don't want to end up moving in with him, or having kids with him because what would happen then? Is he going to kick you out when you cant work because you are pregnant because he wants rent?

I'm going to get a ton of crap for this, but I don't care. Thumbs me down, Whatever. I'm a woman, btw. And to EXPECT a guy to pay for you is just wrong! It's nothing more than a nice gesture, and sometimes guys LOVE to treat their woman out to a nice meal and make them feel special. But it's not expected of him. Nobody wants to feel used and taken advantage of. And I can tell by the way you talk... Describing him as "embarrassed by such a boyfriend." that you expect the princess treatment 24/7. It gets old when someone stops appreciating the nice things you do for them, and instead they just start expecting it. Get a job and take care of yourself? So what you go to school. Okay? So do a lot of women. Quit looking at your man like he's your fat wallet caretaker. He's not. Start appreciating his nice gestures and don't expect anything from him other than love and to be a good boyfriend.

I get both sides. BUT if you want a real man, dump this one. It doesn't look like he's going to be a good husband. I'd cut my losses and keep looking. You only get one life and if you want a gentleman with class, someone to marry and stay with forever, don't waste your time here. Be patient and work hard at school. After you get your job, you offer to pay your own way after 8 or 10 dates and if it looks like marriage is in the future. Do not sleep with them. Make good choices for the sake of your self and your future children. don't get stuck with a dud. It's all your choosing.

Unfortunately, he may be following the "guy rule" of "don't pay for a girl's meal if she isn't putting out by the third date." There are variations on that rule, and they're all piggish. I do feel your post comes off as a bit whiny, so I'm thinking maybe you still have some of your own things to sort out in life. Either way, you want to dump this guy and consider being single for a bit while you work a few things out in your own head. I personally think it's sweet and thoughtful for a man to pay for the meal, but unfortunately a lot of guys nowadays are thinking "this better get me laid."

He isn't sure if either you will leave him or he will leave you soon or later. But surely he doesn't see you as to be in long relation. The man who loves his gf will take care of her as you say he knows you are a student and have not much to pay for fancy meals. If he doesn't have enough money, he has to share with you and ask you to make food at home and you go out to a park or picnic together and enjoy your time together. But a boyfriend who spend time with you and says love you, has to be in charge when you both go out for a meal.