I'm severely depressed and my boyfriend doesnt help. what do I do?

Depression is anger that has been turned inward, against ourselves. It is often caused by self-hatred or a sense of helplessness.

The answer is NOT to take your anger and through it against someone else, but to expose it to yourself and work WITH it. Use cognitive-behavioral psychology, which is better even than anti-depressant medication for dealing with depression. We create our own depression, and so we can un-create it. And the meds work no better than placebos (fake sugar pills).

Your bf has Dysthymia. This means that his depression is habitual and long-lasting. Buddhists do not “talk” about Buddhism … they DO it. And over the years, they learn to relax into themselves, including their depression. They do not do this by whipping out Buddhist talk, but by meditating every day and by practicing “mindfulness” 24/7. And unless one has a real live qualified teacher (usually a Buddhist monk or nun) to guide them personally, they are not likely to get much of anywhere with their Buddhist self-discover and retraining.

The first tie you dumped him, you should have stayed away. When a relationship breaks up for any reason, it is always because the two people do not “work” as a couple. And getting back together is therefore a mistake.

Don’t blame him for your depression. You are the one who is choosing to stay with him. Because you are not facing and dealing with your emotions … especially your guilt. YOU are not being fair to YOU.

Stop blaming him … this only feeds your sense of helplessness, which makes your depression worse.

Take charge of your life, take responsibility for your choices and action ... including the cognitive messages you are feeding yourself (like “he is possible to break up with” .. that is a delusional statement)

Stop talking to him. Ignore him. He will not accept that you have broken up with him if you keep on relating to him. It is fair and kind to let him know (in person, in text, in writing ... any of these) that you ARE breaking up with him. No explanation is needed, and in fact the more explanation your give, the more you open the door to him arguing about your explanations. Fact is fact .. simply state "I am breaking up with you." Do NOT tell him you love him, because then he will fight your decision.

After you have told him you have broken up with him, then you have to LIVE it … block him out of your life totally.

HE is responsible for HIS depression, and he is also responsible for coping with you breaking up with him. Don’t be psychologically “enmeshed” with his problems, since you have no control over his emotions, and they are only hurting you. A wounded person (you) cannot help another (him).

This relationship is not working, and it is because neither he nor you are ready TO make a relationship work. So you love him … love only makes us WANT to be with the person. It is not WHAT makes the relationship work. The single most-important factor in making love work is being a happy person before you even get involved.

So, since you are depressed and he is dysthymic, neither of you will be able to make love work until you both solve your own depression. All you two do is increase each other’s depression, and give yourselves a “reason” to STAY depressed.

YOU need to take care of yourself. Break up with him. Stop blaming your depression on anyone/anything else other than YOU internal dialogue with yourself. And get some therapy so that you can learn how to change what you are telling yourself.

Its hard to help with a situation like this even witha llt he info provided if you love him and he loves you then just be 100% honest tell him in one long message everything that you feel all of it let your heart pour into one message to him and also let all your anger and sadness into it be mean if you have to but tell him what he needs to hear