I'm afraid of losing my virginity after pap smear?

So, I'm 23 and still a virgin. I've always had an incredibly low sense of self worth because of my age, being a virgin, not in a relationship, and still living at home ( though i will be moving out in April on my own!) However, i decided to have a pap test done yesterday to figure out why my menstrual cycles have become so irregular over the past 8 months. Im not completely sold on birth control so my physician decided we should do a pap. I told her that i was still "intact" so she decided to use the smallest tool she had (so she says). I felt like I was completely ripped to shreds inside and I literally started crying hysterically. Ive never been able to use tampons because im REALLY small down there and they make me uncomfortable. I have never experienced a pain so intense in my life. She offered me four packs of lube to use with tampons on my next cycle to "become more comfortable with my body" but I'm more ashamed now than I was before.

How do I get over the traumatic experience in order to have sex if and when I choose to do so? I think I'll be traumatized for life.