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My boyfriend's family is butting into our relationship?

So I have been dating my bf for two months but we've known each other for a year before that. We are both Christian but his family is very Christan-y. One day I went to church with them and then we went back to his house. I was laying on him in front of his parents and I didnt realize until after the fact that it was inappropriate. Then on valentines day I fell asleep on him in his car and his dad and brother went outside to check on us and they saw us. Now we can't really be alone or else they get weird. we can't cuddle or lean on each other in front of his family or mine because they both dont like it. His older brother is always telling us stuff like that we're getting too close and he doesn't like it when my boyfriend and I sit next to each other. We went bowling for our friend's birthday and his 19 yr old "little" sister shook her head at us because we were holding hands and I had my head leaning on his shoulder. And his other older brother (the one who saw us sleeping on each other) had a "talk" with him about boundaries which I think was unnecessary because both of our parents had talks with us after they found out we were laying on each other. By the way i'm 22 and he's 21. We have never had sex (because we're waiting for marrige) and all we do is hold hands and sometimes cuddle and kiss (not make out) and it sucks because we can't even be ourselves at his house or mine. What should I do?

4 Answers

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  • Tina
    Lv 7
    6 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    I think that you already know that laying on your boyfriend in his parents home was not only inappropriate, but also disrespectful. And then, you got caught a second time sleeping on him in his car. You know how strong their faith and beliefs are. And now there is not one member of the family that trusts you when you two are alone, or when you get to close to each other. I understand it’s hard for you to accept that they are butting in your relationship. But they won’t stop until you get married. That’s if you two do get married. Try to put yourself in their shoes. They are afraid that you would end up having sex, and they are probably scared that you will get pregnant. It would be an embarrassment to the family especially in front of the church members. I think you both should talk to his parents. You need to reassure them that you don’t have any intentions of having sex. Tell them how important it is for you to wait until marriage. If you kiss and cuddle in front of them then, you need to stop if that bothers them. They don’t need to see that. I know you have known each other for a year before you started to date. But you have only been in a relationship for two months. Their parents probably think that you guys are moving too fast. But whatever the case is, or why they are all watching you like hawks, it needs to stop. It will only stop when you can reassure them that you have no intention of having sex. It’s up to you and your boyfriend to fix this. If you want your boyfriend’s parents to trust you while you are alone with their son then, you need to get on their good side.

  • Anonymous
    6 years ago

    I hate to say this but there's not much you can do regarding your parents or his,that's the way they are around you guys so make the exception to be discrete when your around them.I'd like to say they'll be different once you're both married though that's uncertain.I don't know if you're still both living with your parents? Don't let your parents or his control your relationship,they have no right to tell you what you can and cannot do with your partner.they can advice you but they cannot force you unless your under their roof of course.Perhaps spend less time each others parents,that's all I can advice and maybe move away from the parents,It's only temporary right so just sit it out,best of luck x

  • 6 years ago

    At your age, you both can do as you like, but do not expect your families to approve. When the 2 of you are falling sleep together and laying on top of each other, that looks like 1 step from sex to everyone else and they would like you to slow things down. This has not got much to do with Christianity, and a lot more to do with family expectations

  • Anonymous
    6 years ago

    Stay away from them. They are nosy and jealous. They will annoy you and your boyfriend.

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