Can controlling and abusive men change?

I was that woman that use to comment on other women who experienced domestic (Emotional or physical( abuse from their partners, I always said I would never let anyone treat me like that and wow how the tables have turned. It's been a gradual thing over two years, what started as just an act of lost control from my partner has resulted in repeat instances of 'arguments', might happen once/twice a week might happen more or less, it's hard to predict. He's grown up in a violent environment and sadly so have I, having a very controlling dad, and been told I have issues and attract men like my father. The beginning of our relationship was based on trust issues because we are in a long distance relationships and I had caught him lying to me about being committed to me. I have found numerous chats with him and other girls (on Facebook) flirting asking for their number while we were exclusive and supposed to be committed. He has cheated on me, lied being my back spoken to so many other girls and I left him for a few months, until he managed to convince me he was a better man and he would change for me. Since then it has been a nightmare regaining my trust for him and I have been extremely paranoid because of our past. I have doubted him and still do because he has showed a continuous pattern of lying and cheating and manipulating. Because of my incapability of trusting him (because he cheated before) he uses this as an excuse to be equally, if not much more possessive and paranoid. When he is in a miserable mood, whatever the cause I always get the brunt of it. It generally starts with nitpicking from his side, which results in him getting aggressive and swearing, i'll react to it and retaliate, then that's when he'll start on me throwing verbal abuse - he calls me a *****, whore, says hurtful things about me, my personality and appearance like telling me I'm fat, ugly and that I deserve to be put down and I will never find anyone better than him, and generally just shows so much anger towards me. I don't back in to a corner, I stand and speak my mind whether he likes it or not. I just want this anger to stop, but it's now been going on for nearly 2 and a half years and although we've sat down and I've tried to help him with his anger issues as much as I can and multiple times given him an ultimatum to change now or i'll leave him (but haven't until now) I don't know what to do anymore. I tell him I deserve to be treated with respect, but he has an excuse for everything. He tells me he's not 'one of them men', because he doesn't beat down on me he thinks it's ok, because he not has been physical generally grabbing or pushing or abusive. I've done everything for this guy and I can't understand why he shows so much anger towards me. I've threatened to leave him and he'll be all apologetic and tell me he loves me and agrees with everything I have to say about his behaviour and becomes the person I fell in love with (for a short while anyway), and switches right back within days. This is so confusing because i'm left wondering is that it, have I got through to him, is he going to stop now. He has on several occasions threatened to hurt me or mentioned hurting my family or revealing personal things (pictures etc) about me to my family. When he is in a state there's no telling what he is capable of and I'm becoming more and more unsafe with him and what he can potentially do to hurt me.

Should I contact the authorities or will he eventually realize how he's being and change? Is change even possible for abusive and controlling men?